Religion doesn't own marriage (and it never did)

5 February 2010

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ZJ: There are many religious people who claim that marriage was created by God. They believe that only religion can define what marriage is, and that nothing outside of religion can change this definition. Even some atheists have said that marriages should only be legally recognized under another title, such as civil unions, while marriage is left to religion to define as they see fit.

However, there is nothing to support the notion that religion has a unique ownership of the very concept of marriage. Are we really expected to believe that a god was necessary to introduce the idea of two people who love each other spending their lives together, and prior to that, nobody could figure this out on their own? Is there even a shred of truth to the proposal that people had simply never thought to form committed, loving partnerships until religion came along?

No. When two people are so devoted to one another that they want to share their lives with each other, it isn't God making this happen. It's love. Religion is by no means a necessary component of marriage. Atheists, agnostics, and other varieties of nonbelievers can and do get married, and their marriages are no less equal than religious marriages.

And if marriage is defined by religion, which religion defines it? Is it mainstream Christianity, which defines marriage as between one man and one woman? Is it Unitarian Universalism, which defines marriage as between a man and a woman, or two men, or two women? Or is it Islam, which defines marriage as between one man and up to four women?

The answer is none of them. No religion determines what marriage itself is defined as. And while religions may have their own traditions and rituals regarding marriage, none of them have any standing to demand that the rest of us follow their marital practices.

Ultimately, there is no compelling reason to believe that marriage has a religious origin, and it clearly does not possess an inherently religious character. Religious believers do not have sufficient grounds to claim marriage as their own, and nonbelievers should not hesitate to call their marriages just that: marriage.

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