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29 April 2009

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ZJ: A thousand people commented on my last video about religion. That doesn't usually happen. Most of them were angry, confused, and inarticulate. But I appreciate the feedback, so I took the time to read all of them, and I noticed a few common themes.

I was actually surprised at how many people were saying that Christians really believe in multiple gods, but they only worship the God, which is the greatest of the gods. In my experience, that's just not true. I went to church for several years, both Catholic and Protestant, and they always made it very clear that God is the only god. Of course, there were the odd bits like the three persons of God, which are still somehow considered one god. And the Catholic idea of directing prayers to Mary and the saints always seemed a little questionable. But they still believed that God himself was the only god.

Now, there are Bible verses that refer to multiple gods in a general sense, and sometimes naming them specifically. But it appears to treat them as false gods or idols, and it warns people not to worship them. And there are other Bible verses which explicitly say that there are no gods but God. Obviously there are plenty of grey areas and outright contradictions in the Bible, but on this subject, the general idea seems pretty obvious. And most Christian denominations don't recognize the existence of any gods other than God himself.

Which leads to the next point that a lot of people brought up, to explain why monotheists reject so many gods except for their own: Apparently they have to believe this because their religion requires them to. And I think that's a non-answer. Imagine if someone asked me, "Why don't you believe in God?" And I told them, "I'm an atheist, I have to—atheism requires it!" That's pretty unhelpful, it doesn't really explain anything, and it's kind of stupid, too. It's not that I don't believe in God because I'm an atheist, I'm an atheist because I don't believe in God. You're a Christian because you believe in God, it makes no sense to believe in God because you're a Christian.

Really, you don't have to believe anything. Nobody's forcing your hand here. So what if you do believe in more than one god, or less than one god? Sure, maybe it disqualifies you from being a Christian or a follower of any monotheistic religion. But what's the problem with that? So you're not a Christian anymore. It's no big deal.

I actually had the same problem when I went to church. I knew I was supposed to believe in God, but I didn't. I tried to, but I couldn't make myself believe something like that when there wasn't any reason to. Eventually, I stopped trying, because there was no point to it. I realized that I just wasn't a Christian, and I probably never was. And that's okay. You shouldn't be in a position where you have to force yourself to believe something just because your religion demands it. It would probably make more sense to select a religion that aligns more closely with what you believe. You can do that; thinking for yourself is a legitimate option.

Now, some people decided to quote the Bible or other religious texts to explain why I'm wrong, and why their favorite god is the only real one. I'm not sure they understand why this doesn't work.

Imagine if someone told you the story of the Three Little Pigs. The first two pigs build weak houses, and the third pig builds a more solid house. Then a wolf comes along, and he destroys the first two houses by blowing on them, and he eats the pigs. But he can't knock over the third house by blowing on it, so he tries to get in through the chimney, and he falls into a boiling pot and dies. The end!

And you say, "Well, that's quite a story." And they tell you, "Oh, it's not a story, it actually happened." And you say, "What? That doesn't make any sense." And they say, "Well, it's all right here in the book." And you say, "Are you sure it's not just some story with a moral?" And they say, "No, all of it really happened." And you say, "That's impossible, and ridiculous too."

And they say, "Come on, you know pigs exist, and wolves exist, and houses exist." And you say, "Well, yeah, but pigs don't build houses, and wolves don't knock over houses by blowing on them." And they say, "Oh, but this wolf did." And you say, "...Why?" And they say, "This wolf was different, because he was also a god."

And you just kind of stare at them for a moment, and you say, "Okay. If that wolf was a god, why did he die a horrible, excruciating death?" And they say, "Well, the wolf was also his own son, and he actually sent himself to die. That was the plan all along." And you say, "What? Why would he do that?" And they say, "He had to, because those pigs ate from the wolf's tree of knowledge and learned how to build houses. It was their own fault, really."

And you say, "That is crazy, and I'm starting to think you're crazy, too." And they say, "Hey, it's all right here in the book." And you say, "It's just a book, that doesn't make it true!" And they say, "That wolf died for you! And if you don't believe it, he's gonna come and blow your house down!"

That's what it's like to argue with people who think the Bible is totally accurate.

On a related note, some of them told me I'm going to burn in hell. Again, I don't think they understand what an empty threat this is. It's like saying, "You'll be sorry! Eventually. Maybe in 50 years, maybe tomorrow, but you'll be sorry! Probably, if I'm right. But I'm pretty sure I'm right, and you're gonna burn in hell!"

To an atheist like me, it's as if someone told you you're going to the underworld when you die because you refuse to honor Zeus. And the whole idea is just absurd: A god who plays hide and seek for so long that you eventually stop looking, and then he tortures you forever because you figured maybe he's not hiding, maybe he just isn't there.

It's almost as asinine as the idea of a god that intentionally made me ugly, possibly for not believing in him. Lots of people told me that. Apparently they worship a god that just so happens to be as vain, petty and needlessly wrathful as they are. Funny how that works out—why wouldn't you believe in a god like that?

Now, some people said atheism itself is actually a religion. If that's the case, then they must know a lot more about atheism than I do. Do we have any holy books? Any dogma that can never be questioned? Are there ministers of atheism? How do we pray, and who or what do we pray to? Is anyone issuing atheist fatwas? Do we have any dietary restrictions? Is there an official moral code of atheism? Can you be excommunicated from atheism? Are there any atheist sacraments? Are there different denominations of atheism?

Obviously, I just don't know anything about atheism. So if you can clue me in on this, please do.

And there were even more people whose only objection to what I said was "Shut up! You're not supposed to say that!" Apparently the first rule of atheism is you do not talk about atheism. This very attentive person pointed out that "You just want to spread your athiest views." Really? I post a video about atheism, and you notice I'm trying to spread my atheist views? How long did it take you to figure that out?

Or as this gentleman said, "U FUCKING BASTERD! HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY BELIEFS AND THE BELIEFS OF HALF THE WORLD! read the fucking bible then tell me what you think!" Yes, how dare I question the beliefs of someone who called me a "fucking bastard"? Clearly I am just completely out of line here.

Oddly enough, other people accused me of somehow making atheists look bad. Which is very interesting, because I'm not every atheist. I am one atheist. And this atheist is not interested in catering to people who make a habit of extrapolating from a sample size of one.

Then there's this guy, who claims that he believes in something and has a purpose, apparently implying that I do not. It seems he's under the impression that religious beliefs are the only beliefs, and religious purposes are the only purposes. Which is hilarious.

And there were lots of people who were not impressed with my delivery, describing it as monotonous and robotic. All I can say is, if you came here to see someone making crazy faces and yelling at a camera, I'm not the droid you're looking for.

Finally, at least half of the comments were from people who wanted to know what gender I am, because they couldn't tell. Honestly, I appreciate your curiosity, but unless you want some of this, you don't really need to be concerned about that. You know I'm not.

Anyway, thank you for your comments, I read all of them, and I'm glad to hear what you think of all this.

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