The internet is officially serious business

In October of 2006, Dardenne Prairie, Missouri experienced the unique blend of absurdly overblown internet drama that could only come from a small town with more money than sense. If you aren't familiar with this particular case, here's how it went down: Lori Drew is one of those parents who find it necessary to involve themselves with the interpersonal conflicts of their children, and that's exactly what she did. Megan Meier, an overweight, depressed and suicidal 13-year-old, had recently ended her friendship with Drew's daughter. Drew, unwilling to tolerate the perpetually shifting alliances of adolescents, created a fake MySpace profile in the persona of "Josh Evans", a 16-year-old who recently moved to a town near Dardenne Prairie. As "Josh Evans", Drew sent numerous messages to Meier, befriending her and alluding to a romantic interest. After some time, "Josh Evans" told her "I don't know if I want to be friends with you anymore because I've heard that you are not very nice to your friends.", and the next day, "he" sent her this message:

Everybody in O'Fallon knows how you are. You are a bad person and everybody hates you. Have a shitty rest of your life. The world would be a better place without you.

Naturally, Meier did what anyone else would after being insulted on the internet: she immediately hanged herself in her closet. After hearing of Meier's death, Drew deleted the profile of "Josh Evans". Weeks later, Meier's parents were informed that "Josh Evans" was a fictitious persona created by Drew. It was over a year before this story was publicized, at which point the internet collectively flew into a typical vicarious rage and prank-called the Drew family repeatedly. While internet justice was served, prosecutors were dismayed to discover Lori Drew hadn't actually broken the law. Several towns passed internet harassment laws in response to the incident, but no existing laws prohibited insulting someone to the point of suicide. Confronted with this dilemma, county prosecutors declined to file any charges against Drew, but federal prosecutors were not so easily deterred. Yesterday, a federal grand jury employed the Star Trek method of jurisprudence: make shit up.

Lori Drew was indicted on one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing protected computers without authorization to obtain information to inflict emotional distress; each count carries a maximum penalty of five years imprisonment. This update concerns the latter three counts. Specifically, she was charged under 18 U.S.C. § 1030(a)(2)(C), which reads as follows:

(a) Whoever—

(2) intentionally accesses a computer without authorization or exceeds authorized access, and thereby obtains—

(C) information from any protected computer if the conduct involved an interstate or foreign communication;

According to the indictment (PDF), this is what constitutes Drew's "unauthorized access":

In violation of MySpace TOS, accessed MySpace servers to obtain information regarding M.T.M.

If you've been reading carefully, you may have noticed something a bit off about this charge. Their argument is that violating a website's terms of service is equivalent to accessing the website "without authorization and in excess of authorized access", and is thus a federal crime in violation of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. This radical, convoluted interpretation is a cataclysmically bad idea. It twists the law to the breaking point, and sets one of the worst precedents in the history of the internet. This is how bad it is: MySpace is dictating federal law. Under their TOS, anyone with inaccurate personal information on their profile could be prosecuted for the same crime. And this isn't limited to MySpace; any website's TOS would be enforceable under the CFAA. Hardly anyone reads the Byzantine legalese of TOSes, and the consequences of disobedience now reach far beyond simply having your account deleted. I could draft a TOS that says "no bitching about all the pink", and if you criticized the color scheme, you could be imprisoned for five years.

Why would US Attorney Thomas P. O'Brien and his fellow prosecutors make such a stunningly ignorant and dangerous argument? People want to see Lori Drew prosecuted for something, regardless of the consequences for the rest of us, and the federal judiciary refuses to moderate such base desires. Reason has been blinded by outrage, suffocated by bloodlust, and trampled underfoot in the rush to inflict justice. Unsurprisingly, they've accomplished nothing by raping its corpse. Their retardulous interpretation of the CFAA won't be helpful the next time this happens, because it completely ignores the underlying issue: harassing someone over the internet to the point of suicide. All they've done is set an atrocious precedent, turning webmasters into legislators and giving the federal government the power to enforce the TOSes of private websites. Under this legal philosophy, using the internet is like playing hopscotch in a minefield. Is prosecuting Lori Drew of such supreme importance that it's worth compromising the integrity of the internet? Fuck no!

Others are also concerned about this:

• Routine conduct at risk with MySpace suicide case
• MySpace Suicide Case Yields an Indictment . . . But Will it Hold Up?
• The MySpace mom's prosecution threatens us all
• Tragic Case Could Lead to Very Bad Legal Precedent
• Prosecutors Go Overboard In Indicting Woman Involved In MySpace Hoax That Resulted In Suicide
• The MySpace Suicide Indictment -- And Why It Should Be Dismissed.