Jaur's Hate List

Fat people. Seriously, all of them are so bitter because they realized they're a miserable failure and they, for some reason, thought that eating constantly and becoming a worthless cesspool of cellulite and worthlessness would help in any way.
People who act like they're intellectually superior when they lose a petty argument. You got outsmarted, get the fuck over it. Trying to back out of your shameful loss by acting like you're a genius who "knew it all along" just makes you look like a stupid prick.
Those buddy-buddy assholes on the internet who spend their whole day playing grabass with eachother in a proverbial meadow of flaming faggotry. Seriously, you douchebags, we didn't open a thread to watch two guys basically flirting with eachother and sucking eachother's e-cocks. It's disgusting and it makes me want to stab a kitten in the eyes.
Enya. Self-explanatory.
People who think monkeys, pie, and cheese are instantly hilarious and use it every chance they get. It's not funny and it never was. Wow, it's cheese. It's a fucking word. How shockingly humorous, I think I'll go shit my pants in awe now. Everyone else seems to have, and then they put it in their Screen-name and obsess with one of them. "PIE IZ KEWL WITH MONKICHEEZ FUNY". What the fuck is supposed to be so funny about a monkey anyways? They're filthy, hideous, angry animals who eat eachother's feces and throw shit at eachother. HOW CUTE.

On to cheese. What about it? It tastes like shit, I hate cheese, and I hate you. I won't even deal with pie. It's just so insanely gay it makes me want to vomit out my heart in rage.
Australian people. Is it just me, or are all of them egotistical fucks, and they usually fit under categories 3 and 5. They're the convicts and rapists that Britian didn't want in their land. GO AUSTRALIA. Assholes.
Soda companies that constantly make variations of their original product. Pepsi one, Pepsi diet, Pepsi diet-one, Pepsi young, Pepsi vanilla, Pepsi lime, Pepsi fetus, stop trying. No one likes your shitty product, just keep it how it was, and stop fucking around with it in a desperate attempt to squeeze some more money out of people.
People who constantly bitch about America and never do anything about it. Here, move to Canada so I can beat your face in with a desk lamp, you whiny cockslobs.
People who try too hard to be good at things. You suck, no matter how hard you try, you're a failure. It's in genetics, so too fucking bad. Stop wasting everyone's time with your tireless, tedious, annoying-ass attempts. Terry Fox kept on trying, and guess where it got him? Half way across Canada and fucking dead. Whoopdy-fucking do.
Moderately attractive people who think they're SUPA HAWT on the internet. STOP IT, YOU'RE RUINING MY GODDAMN EYES. Don't post pictures of yourself. Ever. What's the point? People can gawk at your hideousness? Just post pictures of attractive people, at least it won't make me want to scratch out my corneas.
Assholes who act like tough guys, but when they're actual in a real confrontation, they turn into big sweaty pussies and apologize profusely. Way to go, putz, you're a big fucking phony cunt. Dumb whores still find their phony personalities attractive though. I guess they all have something in common: Cowardice.
People who never stop talking about pot. Oooh look, you do something that's so illegal that the cops don't give half a fuck if you do it. That's what I call a real hardcore rebel. Whenever someone says anything that could ever be in some way manipulated into being on the subject of marijuana, they jump on it and go "LOL 420 WEED WTF HA HA HA". Shut the fuck up and die, please.
Names with numbers on them. Are you that unoriginal that you can't come up with something that hasn't already been taken eighteen thousand times. Some creativity there, shitbreath. Next time just make your whole name a series of numbers. I'll like it just as much.
Motorcycles. Get a fucking car and stop making so much goddamn noise you worthless sack of fat, hairy, smelly shit. No one wants to hear your loud stupid machine and your fat, balding, hairy ass riding around on it in your undersized leather jacket which reveals your groteqsue stomach.
Balding people in general. When you're balding, your life is over. What pisses me off the most is people say it's because they have extra hormones or some shit, which somehow makes them more manlier. Wow, you're a bald, unattractive hormonal, unemployed, ball-sniffing jackass. That's some real pride right there.
The new $100 Canadian Bill. It's like a fucking child's toy. It's got holograms and shit all over it just so people won't counterfeit it. What the fuck? Our money isn't worth anything anyways. So now no one takes the "old" hundred dollar bills because I'm a hardcore scammer with my syndicate counterfeiting ring of certain death.
People who color every post they make. Does the color of your font have any effect on your post whatsoever other than make you look like a gigantic moron? No. So fucking stop it, it's annoying. Oh look! The colors! This person must have a great personality because his font is GREEN! Well it turns out they have the fucking personality of a dead moth.
The "truth" commercials. More specifically, the one where it's at "Crazyland" and they tell everyone that cigarette smoke gives you radiation or some ridiculous shit. If I were there and some asshole was hyping it up for some cool radiation mutant people and then there was this cigarette pile, I'd fucking punch him in the mouth until he couldn't breathe. Fucking scam.
Those snooty bitches on the news. They're all the same. Same face, same hair, same god-damn nose. Notice how they all have that obnoxiously large kike-nose? Like, fuck, you're on the news, I'm sure you could afford a nosejob. And then there's the fat bitches who spend ten thousand hours puting on their makeup so that their fat skin won't have so many complexities and make me want to piss on my screen.
Ninjas and Pirates. We all know maddox and Robert Hamburger popularized the two, and back then, it was good and all, but people who have 0 personality can't think of anything original or creative so they randomly associate everything with ninjas and pirates because that's the "cool" thing to do. Why can't any of you cocksuckers have minds of your own?
Homeless people. What are you hanging onto? You have nothing left. Just kill yourself already. Do they think that some day some guy is going to give some filthy, semen-stained hobo with a god-awful aura of stench money? I sure as fuck won't. Maybe if you weren't a lazy prick you wouldn't be homeless. Now go die.
Those "Save these little african kids" commercials that go on for hours. Here these selfish assholes are, sitting beside this crying little kid(note: ahahaha) and saying "LOOK YOU AREN'T PAYING US MONEY SO THIS LITTLE KID IS CRYING!" Those dumb sons of bitches don't pay anything ever to those charities, they just suck the money out of everyone else and attempt to put a guilt trip on everyone.
Those stickers that leave the paper behind if you pull it off too fast. Are we this technilogically unadvanced? We can't even make a fucking sticker that comes off right? We have scientists spending their lifetime researching even more useless shit like if the type of clothes you wear change your weight, and none on making stickers that don't piss everyone off. Fucking bullshit.
Those cheap floppy disks that are all colorful and shit. No one wants this lame shit, I want it plain and black. It's like my files are in some big pile of vibrant colors and happiness. It makes me fucking sick, like looking at some hairy fatass eating a burger. Notice how they just devour their food in a whirldwind of saliva and grunting? Fucking gross shit.
Nurses constantly wanting more money. What the fuck, you stupid fat whore, you just sit around and wait for the doctor to give you orders. You want more money than people who actually do important things for holding the pissbucket for some worthless shitface who's going to die anyways. Way to go, prolonging the suffering of others. I'm sure the guy who was cured of cancer will be forever indebt for the lady who turned on his TV for him. Greedy fat whores.
Those assholes who constantly bitch when the cops shoot a bear. Yeah, you stupid cockknockers, the cops just said to eachother "Hey guys, who wants to kill some motherfuckin' bears? YEAH AM I RIGHT? YEAH LETS GO!" No, if they're going to shoot a bear they had a fucking reason to, and your bitching won't bring it back to life. Stop acting high and mighty and like you're some peacekeeper, before I iron your mouth shut.
Putting several emoticons in every one of your posts. If you need to use that many images just to express your emotions, clearly you lack the articulation skills to be considered someone who isn't an inept fuck. If you can't put together simple sentences to form some type of emotion, then you simply don't belong on the internet.
The vortexes of grammatical self-contradiction. Don't even fucking dare correcting other people's spelling when you can't even piece together simple words like "misspell" and "apologize". Just stop right there, and die a brutal gruesome death involving shards of glass and your sphincter.
Satanist kids. Satanism is the stupidest thing ever. It's just the bible with reversed roles. How effectively fucking useless. Plus, I'm sure Satan loves it when you spraypaint a penis onto that road sign. You get extra kewl-evul points for those horrendous deeds. If you little shits ever made it into Hell Satan would ram your asses until you cried your eyes out, literally, and died from blood loss.
People who argue over religion. "GOD EXISTS", "NO HE DOESN'T". You can't fucking find out if he exists or not considering it's entirely in BELIEF. Everyone acts like they're "enlightened" and that they know aaalll the answers. Too bad you're all bullshiters and have no idea. So shut the fuck up about it and let it go you cocksuckers.
People who say they're devout in a religion but are really just phony assholes. If you're going to be religious, do it right you lenient fuck. Gay Bishops? What the fuck is going on? You are contradicting your whole goddamn religion! YOU ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN IF YOU THINK BEING GAY IS RIGHT BECAUSE CHRISTIANS DO NOT THINK BEING GAY IS RIGHT. IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE FUCKING BIBLE.
Shitty viruses. If you're going to make your goddamned virus at least make it cool so that gaping anuses destroy my computer. A virus that changes your fucking winamp skin? Give me a goddamn break. Piece of shit.
Phony people in general. Stop trying to hide the fact you're an emotionless, worthless, piece of hog pene that has absolutely no personality at all. If you're a fucking boring brick, be a brick. Don't try to cover it up. It'll just result in my exposing you and kicking your ass to Jupiter.
Everyone on the internet who makes a mistake is dyslexic? Fuck you.
Everyone on the internet has an IQ of over 150? Fuck you.
You are not Jim Carrey, you are not Dave Chappelle, you are not Jack Nicholson. Die.
Adults on skateboards. Get a fucking car, bum. You aren't cool. You're old and a waste to society.
Things that have two settings that suck. "High" and "Low", on a microwave, for example. "High" causes it to burn. "Low" doesn't do anything. Make your product work, you greedy bastards.
Cunts who blame everything but themselves. You didn't get fired because your boss is sexually frustrated, you were not fired because fate made it that way, and you were not fired because your plant is in the wrong side of your room. You were fired because you're an unproductive, lazy cockslob. Burn in hell.
People who think my name is foreign. It's fucking simple, just because there's a U and a J in the same word you fucks assume it's foreign. No, it's JAR. How much more goddamn simple can it get? How the fuck else are you going to pronounce it, "Joo-ar", "Jaoor", "Jawararawr"? You retards.
People who don't read things before the say things. Stop being a fuckface and grab some reading comprehension you illiterate retard. Some people don't understand what's going on, and then they type out some incoherent babble that suggest ideas that make no sense at all. Type properly and learn how to read you morons.
Led fucking Zepplin. I swear to God, if I hear another 12 minute piece of shit where some arrogant asshole silently plays on a guitar THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME I am going to fucking murder a baby. Jesus Christ, how can anyone find anything enjoyable about some asshole playing a guitar for TWELVE FUCKING MINUTES WITH NOTHING ELSE TO IT. It's just the same goddamn shit over and over. I hate them so fucking much, and everyone's like "OMG LED ZEPPLING ROLLZ". NO THEY DON'T, WHEN I LISTEN TO A FUCKING SONG I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND MY WHOLE GODDAMN DAY LISTENING TO IT, AND SOME ASSHOLE WHO CAN NEVER STOP PLAYING A GUITAR LIKE HE'S SOME FUCKING GOD. ROT IN HELL YOU PIECES OF TALENTLESS SHIT. STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN SUCKED COCK AND SO DO YOU.
Fake whores who, on one hand, seem like normal people, but then once you notice them around a bunch of stupid asshole guys, they pretend they're stupid just to get their attention. How much more stupid and pathetic could you get? And they wonder why they're the inferior race.
Terry Fox. For those of you who do not know who this man he is, he's some idiot from where I live who lost his leg to cancer because he sucks, and then he tried to run across Canada and fucking died at Ontario. Way to go, how much more inspirational can that get? You know, a guy saying he can do the impossible and then not doing the impossible. Dumb assholes who think he's some hero sure fall for it, though. High five to Ontario and Cancer for killing him.
Those scary kids with fields of acne on your face. God, boy, there's medicines for that. I saw this one kid and his face was like fucking Mars. I bursted out laughing when I saw him and started pointing. I don't know if he blushed or not, since his face was already as red as a fucking apple. Some of them just creep me out though. It's like someone chopped up their flesh with a razorblade or something.
Logos on clothing. I hate goddamn logos. They're annoying and ugly. I can never find a store that just sells shirts with nothing on them at all. They all have some lame PLAYA PIMP logo on it in some obnoxious piece of shit font, with some horrendous image drawn by a arthritic blind mental patient in comatose. Apparently no one realizes how much money you could make by just selling plain clothes. I guess everyone's too trendy and dull to notice.
Banana phone. It's not funny, guys. Let it go.
You are not unique. You are not clever. You are not witty. You are the exact same thing as everyone else, because you're trying to be.
Acronyms. The only acceptable acronyms are "brb", and "wtf". Even WTF is pushing it. brb is acceptable because you need to type it rather quickly, because, well, you have to leave for a second. "Lol", "lmao", and all the shitty laughing ones aren't needed because you don't have to make it quick. It's just blatantly annoying, and stupid, and I hate it and anyone who uses them.
Reality shows. What a horrible idea. Lets put real people in an unrealistic situation, so it ends up being not real at all. Who thought up this shit? First it was Survivor or something, and it was sort of entertaining the first time, even though everyone already knows it's all set up. And then they kept on dishing out the same dumb shit over and over with flamboyant assholes and hags with their naggy shrieks that send chills down my back. This, plus all of the other shitty reality shows with some lame catch phrase, they all suck. I hate them all, they aren't even reality. It's a bullshit sham and I hate it and anyone who is actually suckered into thinking this shit is actually real.
Garage bands. Talentless shits who scream about how their daddy took away their Porsche and how life is so tough on the streets and make god-awful noises Enya would be ashamed of. They'll never actually make it anywhere in their life, that's what money is for. To buy your way to the top. These assholes will spend their acne-ridden days working at Boston Pizza serving some fat little prick who's future is going to end up exactly the same.