The Patch

by ZJ — 31 October 2007

I found this story years ago, and I have no idea where it came from. Someone on SA copied it from another post somewhere.

Frankly, I do not expect this to be believed. But I'm going to tell it anyway, simply because its been weighing upon my mind lately. I ran into Flash last weekend, who was back in town, and he spoke to me about it.

Knowledge of the physical environment is essential to an LEO in Patrol. It is one reason why seniority counts for a great deal in this line of work-the longer you work a given juridiction, the better you know it. And locals who become police officers quickly learn that growing up in an area does not mean you truely know it.

Part of it, is that an LEO, unlike most people, has no perception of private or personal space. We can go anywhere, given correct circumstances. And because of that, a great deal of 'idle time' or 'routine patrol' is spent exploring. Can you get a patrol car through the gap in this fence? Where does that track lead? Is there a way to get from this parking lot to another? If you walk this easement or power-line access, what will you see?

This is essential, because at some point this knowledge can mean shaving thirty seconds off a response time, or catching a fleeing subject.

In every police jurisdiction of any size, in my experience, there is always at least one strange place. Not the spots you take rookies and play Find the Mud Hole, or the crime scenes you use to scare Explorers, but the real thing. The places that nobody talks about much. The places you don't find out about until you have to go there. The places you go to only if you have to.

We have a place that is sometimes called the Patch. Its about thirty-five acres of very broken ground covered in scrub oak on the edge of town, completely isolated from everywhere else, out beyond an old brick plant that now makes clay pots. Nothing, as far as I can tell, have ever been built there, nor is it really good for anything. Its at the base of the tall ridge that currently marks the west boundry of our burg, cut by numerous gullies, and whose red-clay soil is about useless from growng anything.

The City seized it for taxes back in 1932 from a land company; it was listed as 'waste land' (no commercial use) back then.

Its really a strange place. I've been on search teams across it six times in eleven years, and every time I've been on it, it creeps me out. It gave me the willies when I first explored it shortly after being cut loose on my own; you can't get a car very deep into it, and frankly, a short walk on foot into it gave me such a bad feeling I never went back without a reason. It wasn't until about eighteen months later that I learned that I was not alone in my reaction to the place.

One factual thing that bothers me about the place, is that I get lost in it. I have, since I was old enough to think about such things, an unerring instinct about the direction north. I can always find it. Night time, snowstorms, forest, whatever; give me a few seconds to concentrate, and I know which direction north is. Even the desert, which screws many people up, never bothered me. And the Army taught me land nav to a fine degree; I've run compass courses with multiple dog-legs and hit my target location every time, even on featureless terrtain such at Fort Hood, where one bit of scrub is identical to every other bit.

But every time I've been in the Patch, I've gotten turned around. In broad daylight, with a ridgeline a quarter-mile away that is only a couple degrees off a true north-south axis. After the first search, I started taking a compass with me.

Near the center of the Patch is a structure we call the Playhouse. Its a building made out of sheets of old galvanized tin nailed to thick posts and four-by fours, with a dirt floor. We call it the Playhouse because there is absolutely no rationale for its positioning or design; firstly, you can't get a vehicle larger than an ATV or dirt bike to it due to washouts and gullies; maybe a jacked-up 4x4 if it was dry and you really did not care about your paint job.

Secondly, because the place is big (about 3000 square feet, as near as we can tell), but has no purpose. There's no animal pens near it, nothing; just a wood framework with tin nailed to it, no tar on the roof-seams, no doors (but several door-way sized openings), no windows at all. Inside its split into at least a dozen 'rooms' by either more tin sheets, or partitions made out of old packing crates from the railroad. Some of the rooms are completely isolated from the exterior walls.

There is no logic or reason to how the rooms are laid out; several have openings that are barely 3' high. It reminds you of how kids put together a fort or treehouse.

Except that this one has cut-down telephone poles for roof supports set several feet into the ground. Whatever else you can say about it, someone built it to last.

There no junk or litter about the PH, and no grafftti; while its not very obvious, its been there since before the City seized the place, and with all the generations of kids, you would expect some beer-drinking, ghost-hunting, or general spray-can antics.

Nor is there any sign of animals taking advantage of the shelter, nor have I seen any bird's nests, although hornet's nests and mud daubers are present.

And it smells odd. That's all I can say about it: it smells different than what I think it should. This has been commented on by others, as well. No specific odor. Just odd.

And flashlights fail in it. Yes, flashlights fail everywhere, but flashlights seem to fail a lot more in it than anywhere else. $70 Streamlight Stingers that are City-issue and have reliable rechargeable batteries go abruptly dead in there. And not in the usual fashion, the light going yellow for twenty minutes, getting dimmer and dimmer until they just fade away; rather, going from hard white light to dead in a minute's span. When you carry the same light every day for years, you know its battery in detail. Yet many of us have been caught by an unexpected dead battery in the Playhouse.

Some time in the past, we were searching for a missing girl. It was likely that she had been carried off by a recent high water after massive cloud burst (10" in ten hours), but foul play was also a possibility, for reasons best unrelated. A search was mounted. I was tasked with taking two officers and checking the area around the old brick plant and the Patch.

I had two veteran officers, both entry team members and well-known to me; call them MD and Flash. They readily accepted my suggestion that we change into tactical gear in order to protect our uniforms from the brush; to be frank, I was less concerned with the brush, than for having an excuse to bring my MP-5 along. I wasn't alone in that, as unbidden, both Flash & MD got their shotguns out of the arms room. Flash had a 14" pump, and MD a Benneli semi-auto.

We searched the Patch first; and although all three of us were carefully keeping track of where we were in a place we had all been in before, we managed to get well and truely turned around twice in the space of ninety minutes.

It took us a lot longer than it should have to search the area, because frankly, we weren't splitting up. At all. Anywhere else, we would have been twenty to thirty feet apart walking on line. Here, we stuck together. We had been on other search teams which had gotten got hopelessly jumbled and separated in the Patch before.

It was late afternoon when we went to the Playhouse. The sky was completely overcast, the color of lead. The ground was muddy, everything was wet, and there was a cold breeze out of the north. To say it was a miserable day was an understatement.

We circled the Playhouse, looking for footprints, and found nothing. However, drainage was such that it was possible that they could have been washed away, so a search was nessessary.

Inside, there were no gaps in the ceiling to speak of, and very few in the walls; the gray daylight hardly made its presence known through what gaps there were, although the dull light through nail holes made you think (unpleasently) of animal eyes in the night.

I led the way in. Twenty feet in a portable metal detector (a wand type used to check for weapons) that Flash was carrying suddenly started beeping, and did not stop until he pulled the battery pack; he swore it had been turned off the whole time he had been out. Later, at the PD, it worked perfectly.

We were clearing the place like a hostile building, rather than a seach; we had not talked about it, but all three of us were on edge. Very much so. The place smelled very wrong; not a smell of anything in particular, just not the way such a place should smell. I can't explain it any way better than that.

I was on one knee checking out a closet sized-'room' when abruptly the light on my MP-5 died, going from white & bright to dead in a couple seconds. Flash took point and MD center while I tagged along and switched batteries (I had a couple full-charged spares on me, as well as two more flashlights and some cylumes).

A minute or so later Flash's light died the same way, and he dropped to the rear to change out, while MD and I moved up a place. We stopped at that point, and we heard something. Flash muttered 'What was that?' and we all listened carefully.

It was coming from ahead and to our right; we did not speak at the time, of course, but later, we never agreed on what it sounded like. To me, it had sounded like a sick cat might sound as it whimpers.

We moved forward towards the noise, and came to a largeish room which had the exterior wall on one side. MD made entry, and at that exact moment his flashlight died. He immedately side-stepped and dropped to one knee; I moved in and past him along the wall as Flash slid along the wall on the opposite side of the 'doorway'.

Flash was to the left of the 'doorway', MD was right, kneeling, and I was about two feet to MD's right . The room was about twenty by eleven, with us at the narrow side.

And something moved in the far right corner. Flash hit it with his light a second before I did; I remember MD yelling, and then both fired.

To this day, I swear I saw a big dark dog, I mean large, 150+lbs, bull mastiff-sized, in Flash's light, moving fast.

I fired, three-round burst, and then kept firing as MD and Flash pounded away. Both went empty and yelled that they were withdrawing (team procedure), and I fired to cover them as I backed out last.

After the first burst, I couldn't see much for the muzzle flash, so I just ripped up the corner with three-round bursts. I fired off the full thirty-round mag.

In retrospect, I can not explain why I fired thirty rounds at a dog. There was no valid reason to simply hose it down; nor for Flash and MD to blaze away like we had. Nerves, is the only explanation I can offer. All I can say is that that encounter was quite simply the most stressful incident I have ever had, bar none.

In the second room, we reloaded, and MD switched out batteries. Then we re-entered the long room.

There was no dog. No body. No blood. Zip.

None of us decribed what we saw the same way. Flash was extremely reluctant to describe what he saw at all.

But there are a couple facts: all three saw a target 'in motion'. Despite the fact that we all perceived it as being in motion, we all saw it in a corner, and never shifted our point of aim, despite the fact that we all trained regularly on moving targets, MD & Flash were hunters (I shoot lots of moving varmits), I served in military actions, and both Flash and I had been in fatal police shootings.

And we had twelve 12 gauge 3" magnum hulls and 30 expended 9mm brass. Thirty bullets and 108 000 pellets were fired at a specific area, in this case an area consisting of a dirt floor and tin walls. All three of us were classified as expert shots.

No matter how closely we, nor the two investigators who came out later, looked, we could find no hits on the floor, and only 23 projectile penetrations in the tin walls. Out of 138 projectiles fired (000 pellets are 0.36" in diameter steel balls; 9mm bullets are roughly 0.38), 105 remain unaccounted for. The 23 holes we found were concentrated in the target corner; 9 to the left, 14 to the right of the corner, with the two groups 22" apart at the closest.

As if something solid between the two groups had soaked up the missing rounds.

The dept wrote the incident off as an 'accidental discharge'.

The girl was eventually found elsewhere.

Flash, MD, and I never realy talked about the indicent except indirectly. All three admitted having felt more stress than before or since.

None of the three of us have been to the Patch since. Both MD and Flash have moved on to other agencies for unrelated reasons.

One of the creepier things from later on: when we tried to explain the whole matter (and a firefight is not a joking matter to the police, no matter that no one got hurt), the administration members we were dealing with, who have been LEOs here for 40+ and 30+ years respectively, nodded, asked few questions, and let the matter drop.

Thats all there is to it.

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Pokemon or medication?

by ZJ — 28 October 2007
  1. Bibarel
  2. Inosea
  3. Altaria
  4. Dynepo
  5. Ramelteon
  6. Numel
  7. Triderm
  8. Geodon
  9. Sentret
  10. Kadian
  11. Phione
  12. Drapion

Pokemon: 1, 3, 6, 9, 11, 12
Medication: 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 10

More news from the painfully stupid world of TAN: This August, a woman in Owasso, Oklahoma left her one-month-old son in a car for 45 minutes. It was fucking 104°F outside, and she rolled up the windows! Remarkably, the boy survived and made a full recovery. As of yesterday, Tulsa prosecutors have decided not to charge her, because it was "an accident" and she was "very remorseful". That's one hell of an accident! If you can't remember that a baby blasted its way out of your crotch four weeks ago, you're obviously not competent enough to care for it. This May, Haley Wesley of Angwin, California TANned her 10-month-old daughter for six hours after going to work, apparently not realizing she was still in the car. The windows were rolled up, and the girl died as a result. But Judge Stephen Kroyer declined to try her on charges of involuntary manslaughter, saying it was "a tragedy, not a crime". If your memory is so unreliable that it results in the death of innocent people, that's not a tragedy, that's a hazard. Forgetfulness shouldn't be treated as a free pass to fry children.

Luckily, some cases of thermo-automotive neglect do end in justice. Epifanio Lopez, who wrapped his daughter in winter clothes and blankets and left her in his car on a 90°F day, was arraigned on charges of wanton endangerment this week. He's currently out on bond, but could receive a maximum sentence of five years in prison. Penny and Daniel Smith of Leesburg, Florida left an 8-month-old under their care in a car while they ate lunch. The child, while distressed, survived, and the couple were arrested and charged. Sergeant Tom Lovejoy of Chandler, Arizona, who left his K-9 partner in his cruiser for 12 hours resulting in its death, will be tried for reckless animal abuse. I need to make a chart for this shit.

Storm is either shrinking or continuing to mutate, depending on who you believe. Brandon Enright wrote a program to traverse the Storm network, and estimates 160,000 systems are infected with only 20,000 being available at any given time. This is significantly less than other estimates of one to 50 million nodes, but recent evidence indicates that different encryption keys are now being used within Storm to partition it into separate networks, either for sale to criminal groups or simply to provide additional redundancy. It's continued to retaliate against anyone attempting to probe the network, and it's also begun to covertly block the scanning functions of users' antivirus programs, leaving the process running, but completely impotent. The user thinks their antivirus is still working, when it's not actually doing anything.

To clarify, when I said Storm could be considered a form of life, I meant that in the Star Trek sense: Life, but not as we know it. It's inaccurate to call it a worm, because it's much more than that. Actual worms like SQL Slammer, Blaster and Sasser exist solely to spread as rapidly as possible. All they do is copy themselves, like a real virus. But Storm utilizes worm behavior to facilitate the growth of the botnet, which acts as a complex "multicellular organism", with worm distribution as only one of its many functions. It has traits of a virus, cell, organ, parasite and cancer, but doesn't exactly fit any of them. One thing is clear: It replicates for a higher purpose. And if we don't figure out how to block or disable it, the security situation will further deteriorate as new viruses borrow its methods and improve on them.

Cyber-TA analysis of the Storm worm

I took a bunch of photos recently, and made a page to organize everything from this year. Also, I'm working on a better links page with an improved layout. Tell me how much the new logo sucks.

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The internet is serious business

by ZJ — 16 October 2007

Today, I came across two stories arguing, quite poorly, that anonymity on the internet is bad and something should be done about it. The first is from the October 15 issue of Forbes, focusing on the unstoppable spread of information online and the pervasiveness of incivility and deception. The second is a scatterbrained PC Magazine column that might as well have been written by a grumpy old man hollering at those damn kids to get off his iLawn. Both writers make the mistake of attacking the concept of anonymity itself by generalizing, rather than those who choose to use it for illegal purposes. Instead, they treat every anonymous user as "stupid", a "creep", "criminals" and "cowards" who engage in "worthless, childish behavior". And both display a frightening fixation on unmasking anonymous users in order to supposedly hold them responsible and accountable for what they say, and make them face "real consequences" to discourage undesirable behavior. Neither elaborate on what these consequences would consist of. Why, exactly, do you need to know who I am?

Are you going to come to my house and shoot me?

They're talking about using fear of punishment and retaliation to control what people say and prevent us from exercising our right to free expression as enumerated in various declarations of human rights. When they seek to silence others with the threat of reprisal, is it any wonder people want to remain anonymous? In their rush to condemn the lies propagated by certain anonymous users without consequence, both writers failed to acknowledge that the converse is also true: the freedom supplied by anonymity enables honesty, precisely because there's no risk of backlash from what you say. And neither of them seems to have realized that the proper response to an exercise of free expression that you disagree with is not to suppress it, but to utilize your own free expression in response. That's why I'm writing this instead of demanding Forbes and PC Magazine retract their articles and apologize. Sascha Segan treats anonymous expressions as inherently worthless:

Those who truly require it, the few Deep Throats, are outnumbered by self-serving agenda-pushers, cowards who don't live up to their words. Opinions worth having are worth putting your name to. Do you see people walking down the street in ski masks and wigs to hide their identities and calling themselves "xxLuvNKisses906xx?" I don't, and I live in New York City.

Is he somehow unable to evaluate a statement on its own merits without being aware of its source? Putting a name to a statement has no effect on the veracity of the statement, and believing it does is just a precursor to an ad hominem argument. If I posted this as Mike Bradley, the content would be neither improved nor inferior; if Segan wrote his column as xxLuvNKisses906xx, I'd still be calling bullshit on it. His myriad implicit and explicit value judgements are staggering. Why are message boards lazy? What's considered a stupid thing to say? What behavior is worthless and childish? What makes someone a jerk, loser or idiot? These aren't easy questions! And if those anonymous expressions are worthless by their very nature ("strangers who don't matter"), why is he so outraged by them? I take hundreds of photos of the inside of a single Wal-Mart. Many would consider these worthless. Does that mean I shouldn't be allowed to publish them? Segan actually attempts to determine who deserves anonymity: Whistleblowers, teens seeking counseling from Planned Parenthood, citizens living under oppressive governments, and anyone outside the US and Canada. The rest of us just don't qualify. Internet, meet Sascha Segan, official arbiter of your rights.

The Forbes article, while nowhere near as angry, contains numerous flaws both superficial and significant, and it seems they either neglected to perform the most basic research, or intentionally omitted some important details. The alt.* Usenet hierarchy is referred to as the "suffix .alt" and "dot-alt tag". There's no mention of the business relationship between Tim O'Reilly and Kathy Sierra; O'Reilly owns and runs the company that publishes four of Sierra's books, and the only reason her story became so widely known is because she's well-connected to him and other "internet superstars". Someone photoshopped her face into various crude and threatening situations, and sent her death threats. Hey, I've had that happen too. But when it happened to her, she decided it was too frightening to risk even going outside, and the blogogogospheric echo chamber got all self-righteous and launched the same fallacious attacks against anonymity itself. Thousands of nobodies were convinced that this molehill was their own personal Mt. Everest. They tried to put together a halfhearted code of conduct for the internet. Some guy who's famous because he used to work at Microsoft decided to stop posting for a week, expecting the rest of the world to care. And for all the impotent outrage, all that came of it was free publicity for a woman who experienced something the rest of us ignore.

Forbes also mentions ReputationDefender near the end without spending any time to cover the details of their operation. ReputationDefender attempts to have legitimate, truthful information about its clients removed from third-party websites that they have no control over, because it makes their clients look bad. Their entire business revolves around attempting to pressure other sites into taking down completely legal content, and it's fundamentally flawed because once something gets onto the internet, it'll never go away. Attempting to suppress information just encourages people to spread it further, due to reactance. And that should be the incentive to behave yourself online: Not the threat of punishment, but the potential for your words and actions to be stored forever. It's like trying to get piss out of a pool full of piss, it just doesn't work. And ReputationDefender has some rather unsavory clients, like Sue Scheff. Her daughter was practicing Wicca, so she sent her to Carolina Springs Academy, a prison camp where children are physically and mentally abused. Many children have been murdered at such camps. She also recommends companies that transport children against their will to these camps—kidnappers for hire. Living up to her name, she sues anyone who speaks ill of her, files false complaints to have sites shut down, and with the help of ReputationDefender, she's set up several self-promoting spam sites and convinced several media outlets that she's the victim of an online smear campaign. And they've decided this person's reputation deserves defending.

The worst aspect of these stories is they've chosen to focus on coddling bruised egos, rather than confronting any serious dangers presented by anonymity. How about untraceable botnet operators, the actual criminals who can take down any number of sites and interrupt critical internet services at a whim? When they finally manage to do some serious infrastructure damage, you won't be worrying about someone being mean to you on MySpace. And if any site adopts a mandatory identity verification model, they'll spawn a rash of competitors offering easy, anonymous access. If ID verification somehow becomes widespread, the only thing it will achieve is further incentivization of identity theft. Unlike those pushing for the abolition of anonymity, I'm not even offended by all the flawed arguments they present nowadays. Their ideas are ineffective, and just wrong.

On the topic of bad ideas, remember Fabuloso, the cleaning fluid that looks like a sports drink? Well, now there's TerraCycle, which recycles by accepting used two-liter soda bottles, filling them with drain cleaner, and reselling them. This is an excellent example of an anti-pattern, meaning that it flagrantly violates people's expectations, and teaches them the exact opposite of what's right. In this case, everyone expects a two-liter soda bottle, with its distinct shape and size, to contain soda. And when it doesn't, you might inadvertently drink drain cleaner, especially if you're a young child, or the label comes off, or you're just not thinking at the moment. Soda bottles should contain soda, not caustic chemicals.

Also, we stopped by the Orland Town Center yesterday, and the south portion of the Zone B strip mall up to a few small shops next to Office Max has been completely demolished. Gymboree has moved into the new Zone C strip mall. And people around there can't drive. Wise Bread, inkycircus, Practical Environmentalist and this person have used my Wal-Mart photos. Thanks, internet!

Update, 22 January 2008: Two links pertaining to Sue Scheff have been updated, thanks to Michael Crawford of Sue Scheff Truth. One of them was a Blogger-hosted blog by Carey Bock, whom Scheff sued for $11.3 million. Unfortunately, Scheff won, and she's taken possession of Bock's Blogger blog to serve as yet another self-promoting spam site. Scheff would do well to remember that the truth is not so easily edited. Then again, we're talking about a woman who sent her own daughter to a torture camp.

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Is Storm alive?

by ZJ — 10 October 2007

The Storm worm, a backdoor infecting Windows systems, appeared in January and has now spread to over a million individual machines, though some estimate up to 50 million. The true extent of the infection is impossible to quantify due to the worm's unique nature. Each infected machine (zombie) functions as a mail server, sending millions of spam emails with the worm attached, and taking advantage of the worst vulnerability: people. Unlike worms that take advantage of an exploit inherent to an OS and infect thousands of systems within minutes, Storm has grown steadily throughout the year by exploiting general cluelessness. Each zombie can also become a web server, hosting fake websites that download copies of the worm. More importantly, the zombies are integrated into a botnet, capable of being controlled remotely to launch DDoS attacks and practically guarantee the inaccessibility of any target by flooding it with traffic. Storm has already been used to attack the sites of assorted anti-spam and anti-scam organizations, and some believe the botnet is being rented out for criminals to use. Having experienced DDoS attacks from random Koreans as well as acquaintances of people that used to visit the site, this is a topic I find quite interesting.

Most botnets consist of only tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of zombies. In contrast, Storm's cumulative computational capacity exceeds that of the top 500 most powerful supercomputers combined, though network latency would severely hinder any attempts at performing calculations typically delegated to supercomputers. Storm's truly frightening strength is its bandwidth; millions of home internet connections add up to gigabits or even hundreds of gigabits of sustained network capacity. The overwhelming, months-long attacks and billions of infected/spam emails sent so far have only used 10-20% of Storm's capacity, and some believe an all-out attack could devastate major internet services or even a small country. Storm also differs from conventional botnets in terms of command structure. Most zombies act as clients, receiving their commands from a central server or core group of servers, often using the IRC protocol. Stripped-down versions of UnrealIRCd have been used to control up to 80,000 zombies. By observing a zombie's communications, security researchers can locate the central system, discover who's controlling it, find them and shut down the botnet. Storm's creator(s) took a radically different approach, and implemented the command structure as a peer-to-peer system among the zombies, using the eDonkey 2000 protocol. Each zombie is only aware of 30-35 other zombies, and encrypted connections are used to transmit commands and software updates throughout the network. Millions of zombies are bound together in a tightly woven mesh of interconnection with no single point of failure, similar to the internet itself. The botnet lost 20% of its systems following a Microsoft security update, and continued to function. And grow.

When researchers try to trace through the network of zombies, they don't get far. The commanding zombies use fast-flux DNS, meaning that every few minutes, the DNS changes to point somewhere completely different, a bit like load-balancing. This makes tracing nearly impossible. Even worse, when a system queries these domains too frequently, or scans a zombie system for infections, Storm automatically launches a massive, sustained DDoS attack against the system, often knocking it offline entirely. The attacker(s) behind Storm are still unknown. Attempts to prevent infection from occurring in the first place have been equally fruitless. The source code of hosted copies of the worm is rewritten every 30 minutes, forcing antivirus companies to play catch-up and constantly update their virus definitions. There's no end in sight for Storm, and while there's no single accepted definition of life, I believe it exhibits several properties of an actual living organism. It's obviously organized, consisting of many smaller component parts (cells) arranged in a pattern no other botnet has utilized, and constantly growing by consuming vulnerable systems and taking them into the collective. The worm itself reproduces, though in the context of the entire Storm system, this is more like mitosis since it hasn't (yet) spawned any entirely new worms that generate independent botnets.

It regulates its internal functions, remapping connections to continue working even when control nodes are lost. This also allowed it to adapt and deal with losing one-fifth of itself, and the creators have made it adapt by rolling out updated software that spreads the worm via websites, comment spam, and YouTube invites. While it hasn't necessarily evolved, it mutates frequently to evade detection by countermeasures like scans and antivirus programs, which are analogous to an immune response. And Storm reacts quite vigorously to certain stimuli, in an act of self-defense to fight off "predators" who intend to hunt it down and destroy it. This isn't the behavior of software, this is the behavior of life. While (actual) viruses are usually not considered to be alive, the Storm worm has generated a complete self-regulating, self-sustaining entity, far more complex than a virus, and far more advanced than any other botnet. I'm fascinated by it, and in a terrible way, I admire its accomplishments. Nobody is quite sure of how to take Storm down for good, and nobody knows what it's going to do, because this is a system that's never been encountered before. I'm not looking forward to what comes next, and I have a feeling it's going to make us all regret not taking computer security more seriously.

Unfortunately, I didn't have to wait very long for the next incident of thermo-automotive neglect. On October 6, Epifanio Lopez of Florence, Kentucky TANned his 19-month-old daughter for at least 15 minutes while he shopped at a flea market. She was dressed in winter clothes and covered with a flannel blanket. It was 90°F outside. Luckily, the windows were cracked open, and the owner of the flea market was able to reach in and unlock the door. The girl, though very sweaty, was awake and alert. Lopez, who claimed he didn't want to wake her up, is now facing charges of felony wanton endangerment. He posted bail the following day, and was subsequently arrested by US Marshals and held on federal immigration charges.

Epifanio Lopez: ASSHOLE

DON'T FUCKING DO THAT! At least he's facing the consequences for leaving his child in one of the worst situations imaginable, unlike half the people who place their kids in mortal danger. Non-fatal TAN incidents are incredibly common:

Between Jan. 1, 2002, and Aug. 31, the Las Vegas, Clark County and North Las Vegas fire departments, which share a common dispatch office, responded to 2,171 calls about kids locked or left unattended in cars, according to dispatch records. That averages out to more than 1.6 times per day.

"Those numbers are surprising in their magnitude," said Keith Schwer, director of UNLV's Center for Business and Economic Research and the Nevada coordinator of the Kid's Count Survey, which monitors the well-being of the nation's children.

"More than 2,000 incidents in less than four years? I would have guessed that number would be less than that by a factor of 10."

These two similarly-named organizations have the right idea. And videos!

We drove by the Orland Town Center on October 8, and almost all of the Zone B strip mall next to Office Max has been demolished to the back walls. I've also heard they may not be demolishing Wal-Mart #1556 and building the Supercenter in Zone B. Instead, they might be demolishing part of Zone B for an expanded parking lot, and building onto #1556 to convert it into a Supercenter. The construction is slated to finish up next summer, so we'll have to wait and see.

Also, StumbleUpon's 30 days are up, and my site hasn't been removed. Now StumbleUpon referrers get to experience the joy of Lastmeasure. Way to not even give me the courtesy of a refusal, dicks!

Who Called Us, collaborative caller ID
Flash Earth
Special poetry slam

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Thermo-automotive neglect

by ZJ — 6 October 2007

You know how when you open the door of a car that's been sitting outside during the summer, you're nearly overwhelmed by a wave of heat emanating from its interior? And you have to wait for it to dissipate before you can even attempt to enter the vehicle? Believe it or not, there are certain people who don't understand why this is a poor environment for anything alive. These people, apparently lacking the most rudimentary common knowledge of thermodynamics and human physiology, leave young children alone in cars with the windows up. Because the car is entirely enclosed, it functions as a solar greenhouse and traps heat with no way to vent it, potentially reaching interior temperatures of 109°F from an ambient temperature of 83°F in only 15 minutes. Cracking the window doesn't improve the circulation enough to mitigate the effect; the aforementioned temperature rise occurred with a two-inch opening in the window. Under the worst conditions, interior temperatures can exceed 140°F. The child is unable to free himself, suffers heat stroke and usually dies.

This happens dozens of times every year, with at least 356 fatalities since 1998. Even though the incidents are always widely reported, people just keep leaving their kids in makeshift ovens. In almost every case, they claim to have just forgotten. About a child. Is this some kind of belated natural selection carried out by terminally moronic parents who, unfortunately, have failed to avoid reproduction? It's certain they're all aware of these deadly incidents, but what keeps it from solidifying in their memory? When researching these stories, I realized there's no consistent terminology to describe the act of leaving a child in an enclosed vehicle on a warm day. There are plenty of ways to describe the consequences for the child (overheating, hyperthermia, heat exhaustion, heat stroke) and the consequences for the adult (charges of child neglect, child endangerment, manslaughter, negligent homicide, or half the time, nothing at all), and the stories almost always include the phrase "hot car", but there's no single term for the act itself. I believe this is a large part of the problem, and clearly defining the phenomenon would go a long way in helping people curb their stupidity. I have created a term for this purpose: Thermo-automotive neglect. It is defined as follows:

Thermo-automotive neglect (TAN) describes an incident where a child or animal suffers, or is placed at risk of, injury or death by extreme temperatures in a partially or fully enclosed automobile, causing hyperthermia (heat stroke) or hypothermia. The incident is the result of neglect on the part of a parent, guardian or owner, whether malicious, ignorant or simply forgetful.

This term is precise, but inclusive, and encapsulates the three essential properties of the event. While referring to parents leaving their kids in cars, which is the most prevalent incident, it also covers situations such as childcare workers leaving kids in cars, people leaving animals in cars, and parents not keeping an eye on their kids and allowing them to enter a car and lock themselves inside. It still counts as thermo-automotive neglect if the child or animal suffers no ill effects, because it describes the irresponsible action or inaction of the adult. If it happens in the winter, that's TAN too. And TAN serves as a short, memorable, easily pronounced and self-descriptive acronym, like SAD and IED. It can also be used as a verb. For example:

Brenda Nesselroad-Slaby TANned her 2-year-old daughter to death last month, and will not face charges, despite having been warned about the dangers after non-fatally TANning the girl during winter.

While summer is over in the northern hemisphere, TAN is still just as dangerous; even exterior temperatures in the low 60s can be fatal. And once winter is in full swing here, TAN will pose a threat to the southern hemisphere. I hope for the thermo-automotive neglect meme to become reasonably widespread in time for next summer to achieve optimum efficacy and prevent more TAN deaths, and I will work to that end. I've even got a slogan for the campaign: "DON'T FUCKING DO THAT!" I'll be following up on TAN events much like chair throwing, and I'd like to hear your comments and suggestions about this idea.

Although I haven't taken any new pictures of Wal-Mart since March, mostly because there aren't many interesting new things to photograph, they've been used 20 21 times on The Consumerist[1], and included in Google Maps results. As always, I'm taking requests, but not for long, because Wal-Mart Discount Store #1556 in Orland Hills will be demolished in the near future. In fact, the entire Orland Town Center plaza at 159th St. and 94th Ave. is being redeveloped:

Annotated map of the Orland Town Center plaza surrounding the Orland Hills Wal-Mart

The satellite imagery is out of date, but I have more recent photos of the Orland Town Center. Zone A is where Wal-Mart #1556 is currently located. To its immediate west is an empty lot that's never been occupied, next to a discount bookstore (Zany Brainy before FAO Schwarz went out of business) attached to PetSmart (the source of six of our rats). Zone B is a strip mall (seen here looking northeast and here looking east), with Circuit City occupying the northernmost section (with the angled square protrusion on the front), followed by Office Max, and several other businesses. Zone C, while apparently a vacant section of parking lot on the map, was torn up several months ago, and a strip mall and fresh new parking lot were built in its place. Businesses in Zone B are in the process of moving out and into the new strip mall (seen here looking north), because Zone B is being torn down (seen here looking northeast, and this used to be My Child's Room in the southernmost section) to make room for a new Wal-Mart Supercenter. Zone C is significantly smaller than Zone B, but Fashion Bug and Subway have already moved in, along with a Hallmark store that wasn't there before. There seems to be room for an additional one or two stores, but definitely not Circuit City or Office Max, and I doubt World's Finest Chocolate[2], Gymboree, My Child's Room and the seasonal decorations store will all be able to fit in there.

Once the Supercenter is finished, Wal-Mart #1556 will be demolished, and Zone A and the adjoining vacant lot will become part of the parking lot. I really hope it happens in that order, because not having a Wal-Mart nearby would be pretty inconvenient. I'll definitely be taking pictures of the closeout sales and destruction of #1556, and probably hundreds of the inside and outside of the new Supercenter, so now we've all got something to look forward to. As you can see, I'm a bit obsessed with this topic. I've got a few more photos of the Orland Hills/Orland Park area here.

1. 31 Oct 2007, 26 Oct 2007, 15 Oct 2007, 3 Oct 2007, 11 Aug 2007, 5 Jul 2007, 22 Jun 2007, 13 Jun 2007, 29 May 2007, 27 Apr 2007, 24 Apr 2007, 11 Apr 2007, 10 Apr 2007, 4 Apr 2007, 23 Mar 2007, 20 Mar 2007, 12 Mar 2007, 8 Mar 2007, 6 Mar 2007, 2 Mar 2007, 15 Feb 2007.
2. Their chocolate is of generally poor quality and widely used in door-to-door fundraisers. When we got some from this store, it tasted like pesticides. Stay away.

I mentioned rats from PetSmart earlier, and we recently acquired two more. We found Blackjack, a very young black capped dumbo rat, at PetSmart this past Monday. Their supplier had only sent one rat, and there were no other rats there to keep him company. He seemed a bit scared, but instantly took to us when we picked him up, and would stay still when held closely for several minutes. Since you can't keep solitary rats, we went to Petland the next day and found Charlie, an even smaller grey hooded rat, about the size of a large mouse. He was kept with two female rats, which is just asking for litters. While he was initially a bit skittish, he's begun to enjoy all the attention, and he and Blackjack are getting along well. They're quite eager to climb out of the cage and will sometimes sit comfortably on our shoulders, and they're beginning to learn their names.

Also, I've sent politely worded emails to Garrett Camp and Geoff Smith, the founders of StumbleUpon, inquiring about the possibility of having my site removed. They have not responded. Four days until Lastmeasure! And my reddit karma now stands at about 17680, having gained 1433 in the past week. Only 4500 more to get into the top ten, if everyone else happened to stop gaining karma. Just to see what happened, I submitted one of my own updates, and while it wasn't successful, I still received about 130 views from there. So if you ever want a few dozen visits to a page, that's something worth considering.

Additionally, I've removed bans on IP ranges covering about 732,000 addresses, since they were from two or three years ago and likely weren't performing their intended function anymore. However, I've also added bans on several webhosts known to host web proxies, which may impede interoperability with any web service that tries to read content on this site for whatever reason. And, because of someone spamming replies about purses (which I've now written a filter for), I've banned every range I can find that's used by China Netcom's Beijing Province Network, covering 3,080,192 addresses. If you have the same problem, these are the ranges:

61.48.0.0/14
61.135.0.0/16
61.148.0.0/15
123.112.0.0/12
124.64.0.0/15
125.33.0.0/16
125.34.0.0/16
125.35.0.0/17
202.96.0.0/18
202.99.0.0/18
202.106.0.0/16
202.108.0.0/16
210.82.0.0/17
218.107.128.0/18
219.141.128.0/17
219.142.0.0/15
219.158.128.0/17
220.181.0.0/16
220.249.0.0/18
221.216.0.0/13
222.128.0.0/14

Oh, and props to The Keane Organization for helping me recover $10,000 in unclaimed assets I didn't even know I had. You guys rock!

Alexyss K. Tylor's Vagina Power
IT'S WHAT YOU'RE REACTING TO IT

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