Archive

Between this update and the last, EMPTV received its first legal threat ever. I think we wonz.

KHAAAAAAN!!

I got into a very vocal argument with the idiot from the last update. Read about it on 17chan.

I don't know who made this, but it's incredible.

Administrating an internet forum with over 27,000 members has taught me certain things. One of them being that anyone with the following phrases in their username is invariably worthless. If you have any of these in your username, it's highly likely you're a dipshit:

• sheep
• Mel
• 69
• xX or Xx
• retard
• Sarah
• demented
• zeeky
• monkey
• skate
• sk8
• 4 ever
• Beth
• gurl
• psycho
• huggles

Seriously, it's like a flashing sign that says "BAN ME".



VenusBlue and jski and appLe wanted to be on this update.

My Dinner at Applebee's With White Supremacists!

Last but not least, the first installment of Ask a gay man, provided by Cubehead and the members of #emptv.

Oh, and Coinstar is really really cool.

Hey everyone, happy Valentine's Day. The server has been doing fine over the past week or so. In fact, it's much faster. Unfortunately, a lot of other people who weren't as lucky are currently waiting to be transferred to Oktagone's new Australian datacenter, which seems to be taking quite a long time, and all of Oktagone's US servers have been reformatted. They're certainly doing well.

Koz found this blind spot demonstration. And ThrowThisAway's friend's dad makes brain music.

Orisinal has a bunch of cool Flash games, but Dismount is better if you enjoy pushing people down stairs and ramming trucks into walls.

Is glass a liquid? A solid? Both?

Ovens discovered Hell, one of the greatest forums on the internet. It has rims.

Arthur Ganson makes awesome machine art.

Oh, and I got promoted to admin on ABS. And then worik_brown tried to pronounce my name but just slaughtered it.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Next update will have #emptv comics by mousse.

Hi everyone! You may have noticed that the sites have been down for a little while. And by a little while, I mean several days. To be honest, I'm not quite sure about what exactly happened, but what I do know is that this was caused by Oktagone Publishing Network's truly heroic incompetence.

In case you're not aware of the Internet Webhosting Hierarchy, this is how it all works. We're addon domains on Jaketeck's account, because he's cool like that. He buys webhosting from IdleServ, a very good and helpful host. Now, until a few days ago, I was not aware of Oktagone's involvement. I thought IdleServ just bought from Ezzi, an incredibly huge provider. But as it turns out, the IdleServ webserver we're hosted on, CP4, is actually provided by Oktagone, and Oktagone buys from Ezzi. And this is where problems start to crop up.

On Monday night, I came home and discovered my sites were down, and I was told they had been down for a few hours. No problem, I just emailed IdleServ's support and went on with my life. Next morning? Whoops, it's still not up! So I checked WebHostingTalk's downtime forum, and found this thread (registration required). Contained within the many pages are reports from Ezzi's tech support that Oktagone hadn't paid their bill, and was shut down. Oktagone then stated that they were moving to a new datacenter in Perth, Australia. They also stated that some core switches at Ezzi's New York datacenter went down, and that they were flying a network engineer halfway around the world to fix them. I'm pretty sure this was just a bunch of lies, and Ezzi stated in the thread that Oktagone's servers will be permanently shut down as of 8:00PM EST Friday.

Where does this leave us? Well, I've made a complete backup of all the sites and databases. Ezzi was generous enough to put the servers back up for a day so everyone could back up their data. Ezzi, you rock. IdleServ has stated that if Oktagone cancels their Ezzi account, they'll take over the server, but with a different IP. So, it's quite possible that we'll have a bit more downtime soon. Or it could be a seamless transition, I don't know how this shit works. We'll see how this turns out. Worst-case scenario, I'll just have to upload all the data and move all the domains to a different host. I'm just glad I have all my files back.

Musophobic illustrated Oktagone's self-defeating business practices:



He also illustrated the Hierarchy: server.png

So yeah, never ever ever buy from Oktagone. They lie to their customers and pull shit like this. Bad, bad business.

I was going to post this earlier, but then all this shit happened: SpikeTrap, a PHP script for trapping email harvesters. Nowhere near perfect, but I've tested it with encouraging results. 17chan discussion thread · ABS Forums discussion thread

Thanks for the internet!

UPDATE: Oktagone logged into their switches and shut off the server ports, rendering the sites inaccessible again. Ezzi then replaced Oktagone's switches with their own, so they couldn't do that. Also, it would seem Oktagone is actually a one-man operation, run by Greg Macsok. Thanks for trying to fuck over your customers at every opportunity, Greg! You stupid piece of shit.

IdleServ says they'll be taking over CP4 tomorrow, and they set the TTL on all our domains to 5 minutes, so when the IP changes, downtime will be miniscule. I really cannot express how grateful I am to IdleServ and Ezzi for being so helpful during this debacle.

UPDATE UPDATE: IdleServ now owns CP4, and the IP has been changed. We are no longer run by incompetent Australian webhosts. Thanks, IdleServ!

I'd just like to say that Ebaumsworld is an internet comedy leech. They do nothing but take videos and Flash animations from other sites without the permission of the author, put them on pages with ads all over them, profit from their work without giving them credit or a share of their earnings from the ads, and then refuse to take it down or give them credit when the author asks them to. Ebaumsworld, fuck you, and fuck your unethical fraudulent practices.

Zeshin found the craziest blog ever. This person is really, REALLY angry.

Invisionize is a pretty good site for Invision Power Board modifications. And when I say pretty good site, I mean the only site I've found that provides them.

Japanese home videos are very well-produced: http://mga.sorobangeeks.com/news_pics/133/psp_cassee.mpg

"Burn this fucker after raping it." I have no idea what's going on here. I don't even want to know.

The Radial Context extension is somewhat useful. Personal preference, I guess.

Wellstyled's color scheme generator is the best thing ever, especially if you have no idea how to choose colors.

More fucked-up art: ManWoman is taking back the swastika!

The MySQL Query Browser is the most useful program ever. You'll have to configure MySQL to allow connections from your host.

Monster Kitchen's dog has rage!

Oh, and I'm a mod at ABS now. Funny, eh?

Happy New Year! Here's a base-jumping accident where the parachute doesn't open, and the helmet camera captures it in excruciating (pun lol) detail.

Adrohak has funny AIM adventures:

jasonhernan2005: ill hack u if u want
adrohak: ok
jasonhernan2005: im goin to fuck up ur computer and u will get a viruse
adrohak: which virus
adrohak: do u want my ip???
jasonhernan2005: what ip
adrohak: my ip, do u want it?
jasonhernan2005: what the fuck is ip
jasonhernan2005: ?

adrohak: img28.exs.cx/img28/5547/youropinion5eo.jpg
*** Elementchick1827 () has left chat2/4
*** phsjvbballteam () has left chat2/4
*** NaughtygurlNlove () has left chat2/4
*** DaNiSh XOx () has left chat2/4
*** PixieStix2534 () has left chat2/4

Google indexes everything. Some people really need to learn how to secure their webservers.

Works Cited: www.tubgirl.com

DethFromAbove found an ASCII art generator.

This is either the best or the worst Flash ever.

world4ch is a pretty cool forum.

Sinner set up an IRC quote database at qwnts.org.

Merry Christmas, everybody. Negative had some wacky holiday hijinks:

My friend and I, having nothing better to do, came into a discussion about the Postal Service. Now, it seems if you send someone a package without postage and without any return address, they'll go ahead and just send it to the person, but, they get stuck with the bill. My friend and I decided, hey, let's make a package of heavy shit, and send it to Deretinchie. He'll lose his fucking mind. So, we grabbed a small box from my dad's "office" and went to work. I started by finding old C and D batteries and dumping them in. We took an AOL disk with free Spongebob tattoos and taped it to the bottom, with the word LOL under it. Covering the batteries and CD with a "Teen Beat" magazine, I threw 3 large rocks into the package. It didn't feel quite complete, so we threw some chicken nuggets, a happy meal toy, and 3 fries into our little grab bag. But still, we knew quite well there was just something missing. So, I suggested, a note! It read, "Dear Miles, HAPPY COLUMBUS DAY!!!!!" A Santa Claus signature. And then, "PS - I hope next time you'll be on my naughty list." Feeling proud, I taped the note around a rock and closed our box. We added his name in huge letters, and then a very clear and readable address. Scrawling TOP SECRET/IMPORTANT, OPEN NOW, and FRAGILE on all three sides. We knew, our package was going to be so unexpected. We went over it with packaging tape, sealing it tight, just to make sure it'd take extra long to open. After a quick drive into town, we dropped our package off in a postbox and left quickly. We left, laughing our asses off, trying to imagine the look on Deretinchie's face when he got a 100 dollar shipping and handling bill for some moldy food and rocks.

What you always least expect is always the result.

The next day, my friend and I planned on spending the night together. My friend goes to stay with Deretinchie while I was at work, planning to meet with me later. I return later and hear a very interesting story. It appears Deretinchie got a call from the Chief of Police, asking if he was expecting a package. Hearing he had a 10lb package, unmarked, with no postage, Deretinchie told him he wasn't expecting anything. The chief told him it was very suspicious and had strange writing on the sides like "Deliver right on site", so they had the bomb squad on their way to examine it. An interesting quote from the chief was, "Yeah, this is one of those sickos, those real crazies! Of course, it could just be a normal person playin' a joke." Two and a half hours later, the bomb squad finishes examining it and decides to open it. After finally getting it open, a man calls back, and tells Deretinchie the contents. A whole happy meal, some rocks, a teen beat magazine, "and what appears to be, a love note from Santa Claus." Not only that, but they even read the note over the phone, even though they screwed it up slightly, at least the naughty message came through. Bewildered, Deretinchie eventually got off the phone and told everyone around him what was in the box. I could not have laughed harder if I tried. Deretinchie didn't realize we were laughing for a different reason though.

So we drove to my house that night, laughing and joking, and one fact alone kept us smiling. Not only had we tricked Deretinchie, his family, and his dad's co-workers. We had tricked the Chief of Police, the Bomb Squad, and the United States Postal Service.

A Boarmas Story. Jaur reminds me of Tucker Max.

Ovens wrote a review of some ROM called Zombies Ate My Neighbors.

This review really made me want to see The Swarm.

Moox optimized builds of Firefox and Thunderbird. There's also going to be an optimized version of Seamonkey soon.

The Worm Within, a tale of one man's epic battle with an intestinal parasite.

I wonder if this will actually happen.

TV Cream's Top 100 Toys.

Happy holidays, send me more hate mail!

Our RPG designer Negative wrote an essay about EMPTV for school. The children's craft forum thing actually happened.

Pana saw Bigfoot:

At around 10:50 I left my house to go into the nearest town, Crete, to get some antibiotics from a doctor I know for my bull. The bull had been injured when it knocked down a fence and fell on the broken fence post, cutting its leg open, about one week ago. I needed the penicillin to treat the wound as it was slightly infected. When I got home from the Vet's house, I went inside and got a flashlight (a big 6 D Battery metal one, and then strolled down to the shed where the bull was. I injected the bull and treated the wound and then started back to my house. When i had walked about 10 yards, I got a weird feeling that someone or something was watching me. I turned on the flashlight and scanned around for a bit to my left, and then when I turned to my right and scanned the woods I saw something between two trees so I stopped. After I shone the light at it it took off too fast for me to follow it with the light. What I saw was something black in color, standing about the size of a bear. It was looking at me but its eyes did not reflect the light like those of deer, elk, coyotes, and such. The fact that it was standing near the bull pen startled me, as nothing usually comes near the bulls. It was also not a human, as it was about 8 feet tall, and the nearest person lives about 1.5 miles from here. I have lived in this area and I know the animals around here very well, and I can tell you that whatever it was, it was not a deer, coyote, elk, cow, or any other animal that frequents these areas. It was too big to be a human, and Nebraska does not support a bear population. Whatever it was, I know that the next time I go out, I will go out with a gun.

RandomlyAbsurd managed to destroy that forum from the last update.

I hate MSN Messenger enough to write an entire review of it. I really do wish that program never existed. People are morons for actually using it.

"Bow, Nigger", an entertaining gaming-related story.

Sheldon is the best programming font ever.

NES music!

I would be doing this if I had a laser printer.

Most of this update's content is on other pages.

<+Jaur> hahahahaha
<+Jaur> I just got the best email ever
<+Jaur> From: Carlos Subject: spamming a virus Size: 144KB

Remember The Death Rose from a couple updates back? Apparently, she and a few of her grabass friends have created the epicenter of ineptitude on the internet. Invasion is encouraged.

Also, U2 sucks.

DethFromAbove wrote a review of some game I've never heard of:

Score: 1

If I could give this game a negative score, I would. Oh how this game made me want to vomit in rage. It looks like the developers down at Midway rushed this game through the programming and testing process at breakneck speed. Everything from graphics to sound is HORRIBLY done. I could've designed a better game using MS Paint and Flash MX.

How did I come about this game? Well, my friend asked me one day if I had any games I could lend him. Unluckily, I had my copy of Hydro Thunder in my pocket. He offered me the most disgusting, vile, horrendous piece of filth ever to be seen on the face of the planet. A game called War Gods. He made it sound so tempting. "It's just like Mortal Kombat", he said. I gave it a shot. If it was bloody and gory, I'd fumble through everything else. How bad could it be?

Well, it turns out that after I lent him my copy of Hydro Thunder, we were never to contact each other again. He kept my game, and I kept his. I was about ready to shoot myself after I played 10 minutes of War Gods... Alright, enough of my ramblings, on to the review.

Graphics: Let me start off with the worst aspect of this game. The graphics look like heavily improved SNES graphics. They aren't even PlayStation par. For God's sake, I COULD SEE THE PIXELS WHEN THE CAMERA WAS ZOOMED OUT ALL THE WAY!!! The movement of the fighters looks like it was captured by robots instead of humans. The environments are so corny it makes me want to cry every time I play through a level. There is absolutely NOTHING good to say about this game's graphics.

Score: 1/10

Sound: Horrible. Simply horrible. The announcer gets so monotonously humdrum it makes my ears bleed. Imagine half-assedly mixed sounds of grunts and cries of characters taking or dealing damage, but recorded on a $99.99 mixing table. Also, each character has only about 10 sounds assigned to it. After all, a person could only make 10 sounds when one punches, takes damage, flies through the air, runs, or is knocked back 10 feet...

Score: 1/10

Gameplay: My God in Heaven. One mode: Arcade. That. Is. IT!! You can't even practice the controls before you're forced to delve into the game. Was Midway INTENTIONALLY trying to drive customers away by scaring the hell out of them by not having at least a TUTORIAL in War Gods?! I think so, and Midway is a sadistic bastard of a company. The computer is also INSANELY difficult to defeat, and the controls are on such a steep learning curve that you need a ladder to learn them.

Score: 1/10

Controls: Well, if you could learn them before you're forced right into the game, I wouldn't be so angry. But no. Midway thought it best to give you a controller and say, "Here, pass the game." All you can do is look at them and try your best to memorize which button is the one to do a "360"... What the hell is that, anyway? I played the game for two hours and I still couldn't figure out what the hell the button did.

Score: 1/10

Story: You have to fight other people for control of some crap that makes you super strong. I swear, this is the first time I've seen this in a game! I would've NEVER thought that something as tempting as immortality would drive people to kill each other with badly-designed fatalities to get it. This is so original it deserves an Oscar.

Score: 1/10

In closing: Do yourself a favor, if you have a copy of this game, go to your local game store and sell it/trade it in for two dollars. You'd be getting the better deal.

If you payed the SRP of $69.99... well, there's always that gun your dad keeps in his drawer...

My brain exploded after watching this.

Rape.. haiku?

Jaur wrote another Nevermore boar story. You guys need to stop writing this stuff. Seriously.

Miko miko nurse!

This is the best music ever. num1000!

Still no visits from Kodak, so here's part 2 of Ovens' adventures in Wal-Mart:

Just a few days ago, I went to Wal-Mart again. Following my normal routine, I wandered over to the electronics section to look at what they had and to play demos. At first, there's no one there and I'm having fun making an ass of myself with the EyeToy thing they had set up. After about a minute of smacking ninjas, some little 5-year-old-ish kid walks up to the Gameboy Advance SP they had and looks at the screen for half a second before jumping up and down screaming, "Yay! Yay!" like a retard. I look over with an expression of surprise and confusion. I had no clue what he was so happy about. He started playing the game, shifting his weight to each leg rhythmically and humming. This looked fucking funny. So I moved down the aisle to the Xbox display. As soon as I grabbed the gigantic controller the kid turns to me and shouts, "I GOT A CAT-UH-PIE!" or something. This was followed by more jumping up and down and screaming, "YAAY! YAAAAAAY!"

At this point, I assumed the kid was retarded. This kept going on as I was playing Crimson Skies, every once in a while he'd look at me and scream that he caught something. I eventually realized he was playing some Pokemon game, because he said something like, "I JUST GOT ELEVEN POKE BALLS!" (Not pronounced "Poke-ay." He just said "Poke.") I decided I was going to go check out the computer games. A few minutes after I left, I heard the kid screaming. I suspected something either urgent or funny had happened. Either way, I felt compelled to go check it out. I walk down a few aisles and I see the kid on the ground, throwing a full-blown tantrum. This was the most violent outburst I'd ever seen, the kid was kicking the shit out of the rack of CDs behind him and beating the ground with his fists and screaming like a fucking banshee.

I just stood there staring. This was quite possibly the funniest thing I had ever seen and I didn't want it to stop. The kid looked up at me with one of the angriest expressions ever on his face, screamed, "FAG!" and smacked his head on the floor as hard as he could. This pushed me over the edge. I quickly walked to the next aisle and proceeded to laugh my fucking ass off. A few people in that aisle looked at me, and then went to see what I was laughing at. They probably just saw a little kid crying on the floor and holding his bruised head.

After recovering from the laughter, I went back into that aisle to see if the kid was okay. He was playing the Gameboy again like nothing happened. He looked at me and said, "It turned his ass off!" Again, I started laughing uncontrollably. I think it may have scared him this time, because he jumped a little, then ran away.

I walked out to the car, laughing the entire time. When my mom came out, she asked me what was so funny. I replied, "It turned his ass off."

Anyway, it looks like people finally got something done on ABS. One small step for democracy.

<~AB> I got PMs saying, "I hope ABS isn't becoming another emptv"

I'm thoroughly convinced that is the best quote ever. Also, you may have noticed that files on the site no longer have extensions. Well, actually, they do, you just don't see them. It makes URLs look a lot nicer, and all you have to do it put this line in .htaccess: Options +MultiViews

It seems we have a few good writers here. Ovens recently finished Agony in Red, a sequel to Agony in Pink by The Dark Ranger. You do not want to read either of those stories. Seriously. Zeshin also wrote Nevermore's Unforgettable Weekend which is quite frankly one of the most horrible things I've ever seen. I'm not sure what's worse, that or Agony in Red. Good lord, stay away from those links. Really, can't you guys write something that's not awful for once?



The Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto is one of the best books ever.

Well, nobody's come to inspect my computer for the all-important dental software yet. My mom might just have to sign an affidavit. Although she could truthfully tell them that she doesn't own a computer. On a positive note, Zeshin recently purchased 17chan.net for us, and we moved the forums. Thanks Zeshin.

Part 1 of Ovens' adventures in Wal-Mart:

About seven months ago, while walking around the electronics section of my local Wal-Mart, I saw a really goofy-looking little kid (he looked to be about seven or eight years old) with coke bottle glasses dragging his grandmother around pointing at stuff and explaining to her all the different Pokemon and Digimon and whatnot on the covers of different game titles. I assumed this was what he was talking about; it seemed that he was so excited that what came out of his mouth was a strange, insane series of gibberish. I doubt the grandmother knew or cared what he was talking about, based on the expression on her face. I decide that I'm going to try to ignore this strange child and check out the PS2 demos. As soon as I grab the PS2 controller, the little kid drags his grandmother over to me and asks her, "Can I have a turn?" Now, I apparently have no say in this. Because I didn't really care, and because his grandma looked like she was about to lose her mind, I just went to look at the movies.

No more than ten seconds after I left, I hear the kid shout, "Oh no! I'M STUCK!" I was slightly confused. Then I hear, "Oh dear! I need help!" It's been a long fucking time since I had ever heard the term, "Oh dear," in any place other than my grandma's house. Curiosity took over. I walk a row over so I can see exactly what the kid's screaming about. He was playing some RPG, and he couldn't figure out how to get out of the menu. At this point, the whole thing went from strange to funny. Imagine an eight-year-old kid stomping his feet and shouting, "Oh dear! Oh no, I NEED HELP! I'M STUCK!" over and over again while mashing one button (Start) on the controller, and his grandma shushing him and trying to get him to calm down before he starts crying. I could barely contain the laughter. I decide that I'm going to help the grandma by telling the kid which button to press. I walk over and say, "You might want to try pressing triangle." The kid turns to me immediately and shouts, "Can you help me?! I'M STUCK!"

"Yeah, sure-"
"Ohhhh, DEAR!"
"Just try pressing triangle."
The kid starts mashing X. "No, triangle, it's the green one up there." Now he begins mashing square. "No, no, no. THIS one." I press it for him. Nothing happens. I figured it'd be triangle because that's what the cancel button is for most RPGs. As soon as he realizes that triangle didn't work, he immediately starts to freak out. Up until this moment, his grandma had been staring at me like I was her salvation. That expression soon fades.

"OH DEAR! IT'S BROKEN! OH NO!"
At this point, I'm fucking fed up with this kid. I just want to get this over with.
"Alright, try pressing circle."
"Huh?"
"Try pressing Circle." He starts mashing X again. "No, CIRCLE." He starts mashing triangle. By this time, I've decided that there's no way I could help him. Even if I DID get him out of the menu, he'd probably get back into it and get stuck again. I walked away. He didn't really seem to notice. I heard another chorus of "Oh no, OH DEAR, I'M STUCK! I NEED HELP!" before his annoyingly high voice was drowned out by my mom asking me if I knew where the toy section was.

I later saw the kid being dragged out of the store by his grandma (literally, she had grabbed his foot and was just pulling him along) while holding some PS2 game and crying his eyes out. I guess she finally snapped.

Fun times.

Geris found something horrible. Something terrifying. Something that should not exist. For the love of God, don't click this.



Congratulations to Prog and his wife on their new baby boy.

BULL. SHIT.

My mom works for a company that sells dental software. They also provide support and sell hardware and dental cameras. And now, Kodak, who now owns the company that owns the software, filed a lawsuit against the company to keep them from selling or providing support or even going near a computer that has the software installed. Not only that, but their people are going to go to the company's office and inspect all the computers to make sure the software isn't installed. Furthermore, they're going to the company owner's house to make sure he has no copies of the software. And they might even do that to all the other employees. See the problem?

This isn't even my mom's computer. My mom's never even had a computer of her own. I've never had the software installed, I've never even used it. This is fucking ridiculous. Ever hear of the 4th Amendment? Private party searches? Fuck them, fuck their ridiculous fucking lawsuits. Way to go, bankrupting a business that consists of less than 10 people. I'm sure they're proud to have an extra $20,000 of income per month.

FUCK YOU AND DIE KODAK, FUJIFILM IS BETTER THAN YOU AND YOUR SHITTY PRODUCTS.

Eschraghi went to a Bush rally:

The whole thing really began last night when my dad came home from work and told me that he got two tickets to see President Bush on Thursday, which was tomorrow.

This was a really nice gesture by my dad, but I considered the kinds of people I'd be hanging out with. The rally would be absolutely littered with three kinds of assholes. The first kind would be hicks in wifebeater tanktops despite the forty degree weather and obscenely tight Levi jeans or sweatpants.

The second kind would be rich or middle class assholes who don't give a fuck about anybody but themselves. This didn't bother me too much, seeing as I am one of them and I live with another one, but I seriously dislike these people if they're anyone except for my dad or myself.

The third kind would be protestors. Upon more thought about these kind of people and how much I genuinely loathe them, I decided to go for the sole purpose of making their protest experience suck. I told my dad I would be happy to go to the rally with him, and he told me he'd wake me up at 7:30 so that I can go to work with him and go to the rally. Score. Dad was letting me skip school. This was sure to be a blast.

At 7:30 I got up, showered, and got in my dad's car to go to work with him. He did some stupid work shit which I could honestly care less about while I fucked around on the internet, got ahead in schoolwork, and worked on The Legend of Destroyman all day. He left work about 2 hours early so we could go to the rally. He was all pissed about how much the Chinese company he does business with sucks and how they can never get these part orders right. That Chinese company does suck. I spent all summer fixing fucked up orders from them as my job.

Anyway he complained about the Chinese until we came by a big storage place with one of those trifold boards out in front of its parking lot. The board read "NO PARKING!" However, the "NO" was so very convienently written on one of the flaps, and the parking was written in the middle. Of course, I ripped off the section with the "NO" written on it and threw it into a drain so that the sign read "PARKING."

We walked farther and we noticed off in the distance the beginning of the line to get into the rally, there were small groups of people scattered about. Protestors. The most annoying motherfuckers in the world. The most "enlightened" people in our country. We continued walking and some protestors gave me some shit. I just either flipped them off or smiled and waved. Whichever seemed appropriate for that specific group. I was almost at the line when I saw a protestor that should just NOT be ignored. A goth. A fucking greasy, poorly dyed haired, pale, zit encrusted, idiot goth. She comes up to me, specifically me, holding some sign that said "I Love Kerry" or some shit. I look at her puzzled and smile. "Ohh! How cute! An idiot costume for Halloween!" I reached in my pocket and dropped a peppermint from a resturant I went to earlier at her feet with a "Happy Halloween," and went on my way.

Feeling totally awesome, I went and got in line for the rally. There were your regular protestors. The hippies who failed at life a long time ago, with their dirty underwear showing through their ripped up sweatpants as they held up a sign made out of a torn piece of oaktag that said "NO BLOD 4 OIL" on it. I didn't even bother with these guys. They didn't talk because they didn't have voiceboxes anymore anyway, so nothing but their stink bothered me.

I was standing around in line whistling to myself, when some kid about my age came up to me. He told me that he was writing for his school's newspaper and he had to interview highschool age kids at the rally. Fine. He asked me, "Why do you, as a highschool aged kid, support Bush." I gave him the most simple yet best response I've ever given anyone. I told him, "because I love Bush and I hate Kerry." At that response, some guy in tight Levi jeans and a ratty white t-shirt (read: asshole number one) looked at me and, I swear to God, said, "Right on, little buddy! 4 MORE YEARS! 4 MORE YEARS! 4 more... ye..." and then he shut the fuck up because he realized that he looked like a complete goddamn retard and nobody was in the mood to join him yet. The reporter kid rolled his eyes and walked down the line, looking for the other kid my age who was attending.

I generally kept my mouth shut for the rest of the one hour wait to get in, save one instance of me yelling, "FUCK YOU!" to a car that rode by, honked their horn and yelled something out the window. I don't care who they're supporting. If they yell "Kerry Rules Bush Sucks!" then shut the fuck up because we don't care. If they yelled, "Bush Rules! WHOOOO!" then shut the fuck up because we all already know that. Either way, my actions were justified.

Finally, I got in. Only problem was I had to go through the metal detector. I took all the shit out of my pocket while a 400 pound black guy led me through the metal detector. I heard a beep and stepped back. I stood there for ten seconds searching my pockets before the guy goes, "Whatchu waitin for? Go in." Amazing security. Not that it mattered right there. If anyone tried to pull any shit, the Secret Service dudes that were all over the place would snap their necks like toothpicks. There were even undercover ones. I am not kidding you, I saw one guy wearing a North Face windbreaker go behind a stage and change into a blue blazer. He had a fucking MP5, or Uzi, or some sort of sub-machine gun in a holster under that jacket. It was hardfuckingcore.

I kind of stood around for a while and tried to hit on some babes (yes there were actually some really hot chicks there) but it was a pretty pathetic attempt. Then again, you have to consider what kind of girls are there. Christian. Anti-abortion. Rich. Conservative. Essentially impossible. I doubt Tom Cruise could so much as strike up a flirtatious conversation with these girls. After I gave up, I heard a loud, "Hey man! What's up!" from behind me. I turned around and saw two guys my dad works with, Andy and Tony. These are the two coolest guys over 40 who I have ever met and are two guys who define Asshole category #2. But I just said hi, shook their hands, and didn't see them again until after the rally. I went and stood around and listened to some dudes give speeches, including some real old guy who gave the lamest "4 more years" chant I've ever heard. It sounded like he just got shot in the lung and was making every effort to get the words out. Pathetic.

We all waited around for the president though. After all, that's all we cared about. Some band from Kansas City played while we all stood around waiting for Bush to come in Marine 1. Twice I managed to get about 10,000 people to simultaniously look to the left by yelling, "Oh shit, there he is!" and pointing to the sky. It may seem juvenile and stupid, but it was funny as all hell.

Finally after about two hours of standing in the same spot and listening to some dude behind me yell either "WHOOOO!", "YEAH!" or "4 MORE YEARS!" literally every 45 seconds, Marine 1 was spotted by someone other than myself. It flew around to the back and in a few minutes on the road was the most glorious motorcade I've ever seen. It was so amazing. There were about 5 police cars in front, 50 black SUVs, a limo, 50 more black SUVs, and 10 more police cars. Think about that. How fucking awesome are you when you fly in somewhere in a helicopter and are escorted by over 100 vehicles? Pretty fucking sweet, if you ask me.

The Final Countdown started blasting on the speakers as some guy introduced, "President George W Bush!" followed by a ten hour "4 MORE YEARS" chant. Bush stepped onto the stage and at that exact millisecond, some seven foot tall guy in a suit managed to make his way through the crowd and stop about a millimeter in front of me. Fucking great. I somehow managed to make my way a little to the left and away from that incredible asshole. I was listening to Bush give one hell of a speech while doing toe raises so I could see him and about 5 minutes into it I got an awesome idea.

When everyone broke into the ten billionth "4 MORE YEARS!" chant of the day, I threw up a Wu-tang symbol. I turned around and shouted "W for W Bush!" and showed the symbol to them. The next time I threw it up, a few people did it, but I noticed the number get bigger and bigger. And then the coolest thing ever happened. Bush said something about Kerry voting for higher taxes 90 something times, and I threw up the symbol. I looked behind me and I saw about a hundred hicks and rich people, all over 35 years old, Wu-Tanging the Commander in Chief of the United States of America. I let out a shriek of excitement followed by "Yeah! W You the man!" As quickly as I could I took out this shitty disposable camera I had and tried to snap a picture. Fuck. No flash. I took out my cell phone and tried to snap a picture the next time they all did it. Fuck. My cell phone camera sucks dick and can't take a picture in the dark. I just did the coolest thing ever and got no photographic evidence of it. Swell.

I listened to Bush give a totally awesome speech, and waited for him to finish. The speech was followed by a grand display of fireworks, with a finale of no less than 100 fireworks going off at once. I tried to throw up the W for Bush symbol one more time, but it didn't work.

I managed to find my dad and we waited for the motorcade to drive by so we could leave. We walked back to his work and talked about how cool that whole thing was. When we got back to dad's work, Andy and Tony were there. We all went out to bar for some food, and took retarded pictures so my mom could get all excited and think we got some good pictures of the president. I'll scan them and post them later when I get them developed. I went home after eating some food and having the best day of my life.

With such a great story, the rest of the update is almost unnecessary. But before the Bush rally, Geris got into the biggest internet trouble yet. Stupid drama: [1] [2] [3] [4]. Out of all that, this is the real "justice".

The Perry Bible Fellowship is the only comic worth reading. And Ask Four Poles is the only advice column worth reading.

Some guy dancing around like an idiot. Prog says it's DJ Bjorn.

Halloween was fun. Me and monster_kitchen dressed up as Ninja Turtles with graduation gowns, and went to Wal-Mart to meet mousse. Mousse did not show up. But at least I got to watch Dawn of the Dead.

What. The. Fuck.

Well, I finished my script for Framework members. I also updated the IPB authentication script to block banned or suspended members.

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT!

NASA World Wind is a program that (theoretically) lets you see any place on Earth. I found my house.

Zdzislaw Beksinski has some really creepy paintings.



This is the dumbest thing I have ever seen. U KNOW WHO U R U KNOW U ALL ARE EXACCULY WHAT I SAY U ARE ITS TRUE ! ("kid who wont shut up" is blindhaberdasher.)

Some school in New Jersey is blocking my site. I guess I swear too fucking much for that goddamn school.

Ares is an awesome P2P client. Much better than Kazaa. Just don't install NavHelper or any of the extras.

Weather Watcher is really, really cool. Spyware-free, too.

Miniature disembodied rat brains flying virtual planes? Memory enhancement prosthetics? The future is now!

Mozart Piano Sonatas. Good listening.

Well, the last couple of days have been pretty interesting. Yesterday, I wake up, and here Z had dropped my channel and nick on IRC, which for some reason also meant I was no longer a service admin. Then he and Unorthodox were logged onto Framework with Sinner's admin account. They changed my password and fucked things up. After I used the lost password function to get back into my account, I banned both their accounts. I didn't yet realize that they were using Sinner's account. Unorthodox tried uploading a different logo, but messed it up and rendered the forums unusable. At that point, I realized what they were doing and deleted Sinner's account. After trying every skin repair option in the Admin CP, it still wasn't working, so I had to edit a constant out of one of IPB's source files to make it work again. Apparently, they had also suspended me, but I was still able to log into the Admin CP and unsuspend myself. Whatever they were trying to prove, they completely failed at it. Z claimed that he was giving everyone admin, yet nobody else was an admin, and only Unorthodox and Z had logged into Sinner's account. Apparently, Sinner's IRC password was the same as his Framework password. Protip: Never use the same password for multiple accounts. Full logs are available here, Z and Unorthodox are in #civilization on EFnet. AB contacted me a short while after this, claiming that Z had told him that Sinner was planning an attack against ABS. Oh I see what you did there! AB would naturally blame Sinner for anything that happened to ABS, so Z and Unorthodox could mess up ABS without fear of consequence! Fortunately, I set AB straight, and Z and Unorthodox were banned from ABS. Anyway, I made a new Framework logo, had an entertaining 45-minute disussion about vaginal defecation (ask lnxduk), and went to sleep.

Today, the channel got dropped AGAIN when Adrohak reloaded services for the network, but at least now I have service admin. I had some terrific email correspondence with Unorthodox. Apparently, it's not his fault he fucked up the forums, even though he logged in as an admin and tried to upload a logo causing the skin to break. Gotcha. But not only that, he wrote an update on his site (now jam-packed wth even more incredible stupidity), claiming that this never would have happened if I wasn't a "power abusing fag" and that I shouldn't be an oper on LF to "keep the network and his website separate." Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this wouldn't have happened if Z and Unorthodox hadn't logged into an admin account and messed around. But that's just my opinion; obviously the concept of personal responsibility doesn't exist in their world. He didn't take the high road, so he can fuck off and die. And if I should be keeping LF and EMPTV separate for whatever reason, then my channel shouldn't even be there in the first place. I don't know what the fuck he's thinking.

Z is really an enigma. At first he seemed okay, and good to talk to at times. This gradually devolved into him ridiculing my social life repeatedly, escalating to all-out trolling at times. When I would ban him, he would complain and blame me, saying it's not his fault. He admits he does things to provoke people, yet denies being a troll. He would always blame me when I tried to keep him in line. And eventually, he tried taking over the forums because of this perceived injustice. I don't know why he's like this. What could possibly cause him to think he's the victim? He trolled and intentionally pissed me off for months, BLAMED ME, and then messed up my forums! There are no words to describe how fucked up he is. Fuck you and die, Z.

Also, Jaur got drunk and attacked a furry.



Deretinchie had a dream about EMPTV.

Attack of the communist spammers!

Our RPG designer Negative took some time off to write an awesome short story. "John Doe"

I've been working on some interesting scripts lately. This is a hit counter for multiple pages that uses MySQL. Nothing too exciting. On the other hand, I'm not sure if anyone has made a standalone Invision password authentication system before. I plan on creating a pretty nifty script for Framework members to use.

Ever wonder how to make your own foie gras?

<~rmuser> http://www.iloveegg.com/winopen_ani/eggsong.htm
<&seb> ...
<&seb> i hate eggs
<~rmuser> That flash could make anyone like eggs.
<&seb> WTF IS THIS SHIT
<&seb> no, no it can't
<&seb> i still hate eggs
<&seb> if nothing else, i hate them MORE having seen this

Jaur was angry enough to write a long, detailed list of things he hates.

Here's some pointless political commentary that you shouldn't read:
Am I the only one who's sick of people blathering on and on about Kerry flip-flopping and Bush being a dumbass and Swift boats and Purple Hearts and CBS memos? It really seems like people are forming their opinions of Bush and Kerry based only on their personalities and these few inconsequential yet highly-publicized incidents. Is anyone even paying attention to important issues anymore, or is it all about pointing out mistakes in Bush's speeches and listing Kerry's flip-flops and not eating the tasty brand of ketchup because of political affiliation? Another thing I find to be obnoxious is how so many young liberals and political bloggers are completely and utterly convinced that Kerry is going to win. Portside even sent me a "Message From Michael Moore" about how Kerry is definitely going to win and the majority is with them. I really hope Bush wins, just so I can see all these delusional liberals completely flip out.

Whatever happens, I think the real problem is that people are idiots.

It's a Livejournal image leeching bonanza! Have fun, anonymous comments are enabled. It would be a trivial matter to use .htaccess to block image leeching, but I really do take pleasure in personally finding leechers and punishing them with images tuned for optimum disgust, embarrassment, and advertisement.

I converted the Googlesnacks script to use MySQL. Searches are viewable here.

Monster Kitchen drew a comic: "German-Sized Ninja vs. Homestar Runner" 1 2 3 4

Acts of Gord is a funny site about the various idiots that frequent a video game store. True Porn Clerk Stories is a funny site about a porn store and the weird people who go there.

Unorthodox made a drawing of me.

Google for "emptv framework" minus the quotes. Look what comes up first. First two results, in fact. StumbleUpon, both of them. And the actual, relevant page is third. THIRD. StumbleUpon is an interesting toy, but its web interface as it is is a bad thing. Google follows links. Look at this. It has one link to the actual relevant page, and two links to Project318's profile. (Not to mention that the nature of StumbleUpon is now actually encouraging random people to come to Framework. Way to go, Project!) Project318's "blog" (http://project318.stumbleupon.com) contains links to many other sites. StumbleUpon claims to have 99,461 members right now. All of them with these profiles with these links. StumbleUpon is basically one giant entanglement of links, internal and external. And because of this, it gets a high PageRank. End result? StumbleUpon pushes legitimate, relevant results lower in Google searches.

"A response to horse porn"



Hahahahahahahaha. "i see u giggaling, i sould hit u wit a ladder" "my dog is the only friend i ever had" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Looks like the switch is finished. There should be either no downtime or extremely reduced downtime, as we are now on a faster, less-used server. Enjoy!

I made a page about Time Magazine and Goatse (not work-safe, obviously) and a page for relaxing. I got the cloud image from http://www.mayang.com/textures/Nature/html/Clouds/.

Nanolather found this really cool Transformers breakdance video. The MP3 is available for download here. And JTweaker found whatever this is. Adrohak found this horribly wrong and disturbing Usenet post. And I forgot who found this, but it's pretty funny.

Many of you may have read Maddox's article about Websense. Well, I emailed him, and he sent me this code for .htaccess to block Websense's IPs:

SetEnvIfNoCase REMOTE_ADDR ".*(63\.212\.171\.1[89]|63\.212\.171\.2[01234]|63\.212\.171\.25[1-4]).*" BadHost
order deny,allow
deny from env=BadHost

Once again, this is Maddox's code, not mine. Websense is now blocked from emptv.com and all its subdomains.

Last but not least, Mock found a really cool Flash animation. I can't wait until the entire thing is done.

We're going to be switching over to another IdleServ server, because the current one has had a bit of downtime. IdleServ, you rock. Jaketeck, you rock.

I'm sick for the first time since I left high school about a year ago. I had forgotten how much it sucks.

I learned MySQL and made a new idiots list. I'm also working on a "shoutbox" script. Thanks to seb, Unorthodox, and Z for helping. W3Schools' SQL Tutorial, SQLCourse.com, and Using MySQL from PHP are good resources.

I also wrote a history of emptv.com.

I joined ABS one year ago today. That is all.

I finally got a copy of Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky. It was really awesome and incredibly violent. I won't review it, since my review would be nowhere near as good as I-Mockery's review.

Beta 0.34 of the EMPTV RPG is out and available for download at the new RPG site. Beta 0.4 is next. Happy birthday to our game designer, Negative!

I recently discovered Gaim, an open-source integrated instant messenger program. It's a lot simpler than Trillian, and the sounds are pleasant rather than annoying. Also, there's no Pro version that costs $20. In fact, I've started using IM again just because of how cool Gaim is. Of course, I've registered new usernames, and I'm being a lot more selective about my contacts in order to avoid this. Horrifying.

Some stupid LiveJournaller was hotlinking my HA! HA! I'm using THE INTERNET!!!1 picture. Guess what I replaced it with? Thanks to Adrohak for finding that wonderful image.

Adblock is a Mozilla extension for blocking ads. It works really, really well.

Remember DaveBurton and Amanda from the last update? Apparently, Amanda is nuts. DaveBurton's comments page is proof enough. "I HATE YOU ASSHOLE BURN IN HELL and I BROKE Up wiTH YOU stupid". All signs point to moron! But not only that, she has a Freewebs site! She also has a guestbook, where she posts such gems as this:

"YOU ARE PISSING ME OFF AND I KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU ARE YOU ASSHOLE AND I WILL KILL YOU GO TO HELL AND BURN YOU PEICE OF SHIT DONT EVER SIGN MY BOOK AGAIN I SWEAR I WILL HAVE YOUR ASS TRACKED I HAVE CONECTIONS AND I F I NEED TO I COULD GET MY BROTHER ON YOUR ASS AND NOT RANDY, OMER THE BIG ONE . PUT THAT IN YOUR ASS AND EAT IT."

I just can't understand how such an incredible writer doesn't have a book deal yet.

While on the topic of stupidity, I made an Idiots page to list stupid and annoying people that should be bothered. Now accepting submissions!



SirJesus wanted me to link to GmailFS, even though I don't use Linux and wouldn't trust a web-based system with my data.

Tyson the bulldog knows how to skateboard. Pretty cool.

StumbleUpon is an interesting browser extension that lets you find sites based on your interests and review them. It works pretty well. Here are some cool things I found with it:

Public Proxy Servers
Online Proxy Checker
This site isn't actually cool. In fact, it will burn your eyes.
404 Research Lab
False Advertising
How to Obscure Any URL
Thing in a Jar
Packet Storm
HTML Help
Evil Overlord List
Metric Week
DNS Stuff
Phrack
Network Security
The Hacker Manifesto
Things to do when you're bored
Akiyoshi's illusion pages (trippy)
Driftnet
A Week Of AOL
How To Ask Questions The Smart Way

And last but not least, a wacky story from SA.

Wow, I sure haven't updated in a while! Thanks for pointing that out, Project!

EMPTV has its own Public Relations department now, so people won't get confused about us. Thanks to Z for inspiring me, and thanks to seb, PacoL250, and fftacs for helping with the site.

I did a review of Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor. It was pretty good. Only $15 at Suncoast.

Coral is an interesting project. It's basically a distributed system of open proxy servers designed to take the load off sites that use a lot of bandwidth. It can be accessed by appending .nyud.net:8090 to the hostname of a URL. For example, http://emptv.com.nyud.net:8090. To see which specific server you're using, go here.

While on the topic of networking innovations, Freenet is a distributed, encrypted, anonymous network within the internet. The program takes up a lot of memory and sometimes a lot of bandwidth, and doesn't work or is extremely slow most of the time. Still, it's an interesting concept.

Negative finished the new version of the EMPTV RPG. It's at http://emptv.com/emptv_rpg_beta30.zip and http://www.negative7.net/files/emptv_rpg_beta30.zip if you want to check it out. Or http://emptv.com.nyud.net:8090/emptv_rpg_beta30.zip if you want to try saving our bandwidth and see if Coral works well on large files.

UPDATE: Apparently that version has bugs. The updated beta is at http://emptv.com/emptv_rpg_beta31.zip. More bugs.

Oh look, it's a log of Cythrawll getting thoroughly owned by Tenebrae. "Cythrawll (4:31:30 PM): since its overseas it would go to the supreme court. and the fbi would be involved" had me rolling on the floor. I'm sure internet drama goes to the Supreme Court all the time. I just hope the EMPTV server doesn't get confiscated because of this!

For even more IRC drama, apparently somebody is spying on my channel. So be careful what you say.

On a lighter note, the following conversation actually happened:
<DaveBurton> Hey Amanda, I have great news.
<Amanda> Whats that?
<DaveBurton> I'm breaking up with you.
<Amanda> I thought you had good news?!
<DaveBurton> I do. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching over to Geico.

I found a really cool clip of a house exploding from a nuclear test. RealmMaster also made this cool thing:



Alan Keyes gon give it to ya.

Zeshin found a collection of the complete works of H.P. Lovecraft. Go Zeshin!

Penny Arcade in Engrish, much funnier than the real Penny Arcade.

Power Rangers fan fiction. This may actually be the most horrifying thing I have ever witnessed. Worse than shocking images, worse than the "Guts" story. This is really just awful. Don't read it if you don't want your faith in humanity to be completely ripped to shreds, and your memories of the Power Rangers ruined forever. I'm not even kidding.

See, wasn't this update worth the wait? Also, zach@emptv.com is working again. Email me!

And we're back! Everything seems to be in working order again. Hopefully my streak of bad luck with webhosts will end here. Also note that the server for the IRC channel is no longer irc.emptv.com, it is now irc.luniticfringe.net.

Overlord_45 is a badass. He had complete control over ABS last night, made all the forums invisible, suspended the mods, and posted this. We all have a new level of awesomeness to aspire to.

Pictures from the National Association for the Advancement of Fat Acceptance's 2004 "Dream Big" convention. WHY GOD WHY

FSM scanned her boobs. Pictar!

I was going to do this update last night, except the site was down for NINE HOURS because 1and1 is the worst host ever. Fortunately, Jaketeck will soon be hosting us, and all will be well again. His host, IdleServ, seems pretty reliable.

I started a Google Group for EMPTV on the Groups 2 Beta service. If you want to join, sign up here. I've made it web only by default, but it can be changed to email in your settings. I'm not quite sure how this all works either, I'm just trying it out.

This kid is bad at skateboarding and swears a lot.

Geris had quite an internet adventure. Now I know why his parents don't want him to have a computer.

Whatever this is, I think it's the craziest thing I've ever seen.

I hope Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash happens, because that would be the coolest movie ever. Groovy.

GTray is a nifty application that automatically checks your Gmail account at specified intervals. By the way, our current host's email is being flaky, so you might want to use emptvz@gmail.com to contact me.

FSM found this atrocity. I wish Xanga would become a country, just so it could be bombed. Speaking of automated journals, someone else had a similar experience with the Department of State. And this guy wrote about iridium.

Matrioshka Brains are a really weird concept: a computer the size of a solar system.

Dave Burton is a cool guy.

Recently, a friend of mine experienced what can only be described as a major flaw in the authority model. His dad is making him take his computer to a computer shop, because his dad messed up the Norton setup, and believes that viruses are causing Norton to not work. My friend always uses Firefox, never runs unknown .exes, and knows what's going on with the computer, whereas his dad never uses the computer. However, his dad is making him take it to the shop, despite the fact that he doesn't know anything about it. I've noticed this problem in several other situations: people in positions of authority making decisions when they do not have the appropriate knowledge/experience/intelligence to make the best decision, and then enforcing their decisions despite their lack of knowledge/experience/intelligence. Furthermore, they often believe that their authority makes them correct in all cases. This is a serious bug in the current model of authority, and should be corrected as soon as possible.

Also, I opened a soda can from the wrong end today. How embarrassing.

I recently noticed a user-agent called Jetbot/1.0 in the logs. Its hostname was jeth.jeteye.com, so I went to jeteye.com to check it out. It had a login to access "JetEye Search". Apparently, it's exclusive. There was also a "MUTUAL CONFIDENTIAL NONDISCLOSURE AGREEMENT" that had to be agreed to before logging in. It struck me as a bit odd, so I looked further. The JetBot Information page states: "JetEye is a new Internet technology company. Part of our business model requires us to index large parts of the Internet." Apparently there isn't much information about it elsewhere, but it's believed to be related to Gigabot, the Gigablast crawler. This would make sense, since 4 hours after the last Jetbot visit, Gigabot/2.0 visited 32 times over the course of 2 hours. I looked further back, and it turns out Gigabot/1.0 made several visits on July 24, and Jetbot/1.0 has been visiting since July 29 with a variety of hostnames and IPs:

Hostname	IP
jeta.jeteye.com	64.62.142.231
jetb.jeteye.com	64.62.142.233
jetc.jeteye.com	64.62.142.235
jetd.jeteye.com	64.62.142.237
jete.jeteye.com	64.62.142.239
jetf.jeteye.com	64.62.142.241
jetg.jeteye.com	64.62.142.243
jeth.jeteye.com	64.62.142.245

I tried looking up jeti, jetj and beyond, but apparently the only ones are a through h. After running a whois and tracert, all I could really find was that they're apparently hosted by Hurricane Electric Internet Services. Mark Wells, the creator of Gigablast, has a blog in which he states: "I am going to be working on what I consider the next step in the evolution of internet search. It is very complicated but my brain is telling me it is possible, so I'll be heading in that direction and will hopefully give the internet community something truly original (as far as I know). Wish me luck!" Just for good measure, here are the Gigabot IPs I've seen visiting:

64.62.168.2
64.62.168.4
64.62.168.6
64.62.168.8
64.62.168.10
64.62.168.12
64.62.168.14
64.62.168.16
64.62.168.18
64.62.168.20
64.62.168.22
64.62.168.24
64.62.168.26
64.62.168.28
64.62.168.30
64.62.168.32
64.62.168.36
64.62.168.38

I'd block, but there would really be no point, since a Gigablast search for "emptv" doesn't even return this site. And I'd like to see if I can gather any more information about this. I've emailed JetEye to ask what's up, and I await their response.

We went to the aquarium today. On the way there, some asshole in his Massive Suburban Deathmobile cut us off, and he had this as his tire cover. I wanted to launch a fucking rocket at him. Tip: Get there early. While we were waiting in the incredibly long line, one of the speakers started playing a song, with just the line "Everything good comes in fives" repeated seven times. I seriously think it's a subliminal message or something.

A Casino Odyssey in Cyberspace, a short story set in the Prime Intellect universe.

Has anyone else tried this?

Pray for Adrohak and idown:



PointBlank anime reviews. A cool site. pi8you's Masamune Shirow site. Also cool.

The Denver International Airport is a very strange place. On that topic, have you ever wanted to know the last words of pilots? Or where underground military bases are located?

The Brag of the Retard.

Hopefully I'll be getting my City Name Sports Team shirt soon.

Happy birthday, Opeth!

At last, Framework has returned to EMPTV. http://emptv.com/framework/ Thanks to Adrohak for fixing the MySQL problem. Kickin' rad!

Jaykc AKA Negative wrote this: Animus Edo: The Theory Of Memory Birth

Also, http://www.ubersite.com/m/38520

We have a user gallery now. Send me your picture if you want it in the gallery.

Spread the Site

<~rmuser> how's the mysql problem progressing?
<&Sin-X> they said they cant access it and wont fix it :/

Alright then. Framework is now being hosted by Jaketeck at http://www.ninjasquad.org/framework/. Jaketeck, you are awesome.

I, Robot is a good movie. So is Pulp Fiction. And Snow Crash is really cool.

This helped me find the password to my dad's router so I could configure it to allow DCC transfers. Nifty.

Nettles.

Hey, we might not be moving after all. Apparently our current host only cares about its customers and fixes things when they're about to leave. The page loads are still way longer than they should be. And still no progress on Framework. "Real Soon Now!"

I let Da Vinci play on the desk: 1 2 3 4
He managed to go to Google and search for "ccccccccccfffffffffffff".

A couple days after I took those pictures, I spilled Pepsi on the awesome white keyboard. Despite my best efforts at cleaning it, several of the keys ended up not working. And my Windows password happened to contain those keys. And then there was a storm, and the power went out. You see my conundrum here. So my mom got me a keyboard from work the next day. Its backspace key was quite small, and it generally felt like a marshmallow. So I went to Radio Shack in pursuit of something better. They had an "illuminated" keyboard, which actually just had blue LEDs that flashed when you pressed a button. And the box spelled multimedia "Multimiedia". The other keyboards, for some horrible reason, had the small backspace keys. So I started walking back home, and noticed there was a Kmart. A long shot, but they just might have something. And indeed they did. Only $20. And it has the proper key configuration. Long backspace, \ key, one-line enter key. And it matches the trackball.

Okay, to clarify, apparently Zango isn't spyware. It just keeps track of what sites you go to and occasionally shows you ads. For every site that uses the Zango system, the webmaster gets money for every user that signs up. Thus, Zango pays webmasters in exchange for the ability to obtain information about the browsing habits of their users and show them ads. But it's not spyware. And it apparently only works on IE.

Ryoga and The Dude wanted to be on the update, and they want you to see this.

We'll be moving servers again soon because this host really sucks. I'm sorry about the long page loads and Framework being down, but it's really out of my hands at this point. Just hang in there. You can inhabit matttheguy's forum while we wait, just behave yourselves. Matt, you rock.

Jaykc's EMPTV RPG is on the front page of Albino Blacksheep. This is a direct link to the game. Enjoy!

I'm not sure who this is, but he linked to EMPTV. Cool.

Hey, the server move is done. Framework isn't back up yet, due to some MySQL issues. Also, some page loads may take upwards of 10 seconds. Hmm.

If you're bored without Framework, I recommend reading The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect. It's really cool. Or Tard Blog, which is really funny. Or you could watch episode 1 of Elfen Lied, which has plenty of violence. Or you could just hang out in #emptv at irc.emptv.com.

a_jack wanted to be on the update. He's an asshole who pisses people off and edits their pictures into porn, causing them to leave my channel. Zeshin also wanted to be on the update. He hates SA, and is a grammar/spelling nazi who messes up occassionally and doesn't realize it.

Yeah, there was some downtime. Miniserver isn't exactly the best host. We'll be moving to a different server soon.

SirJesus made nifty wallpapers.

Exorcist: The Beginning doesn't look very scary.

New world record!

Jaykc and Deretinchie Mr. Doesn't Want Anyone To Know He Was Responsible For This Abomination made this and want publicity. And Geris wants me to link to his site.

<&RealmMaster> Ahh Efnet. Home of the STRANGEST IDIOTS sending me the most RANDOM private messages.
<@SirJesus> let's see 'em
<&RealmMaster> Todays:
<&RealmMaster> 14:22 <wink> hMM wATCH baRNEY.. GOTO rav-E.. BaRNEY@$???! RaVE?#!#! WAHHH wut dO iDO?!@414
<@SirJesus> O_o

People who wanted their names on the update: appLe, FunkySunMonkey

Not much going on. A_jack and Koz edited this into this:



Then, The Dude edited it into this:



And fun was had by all.

This is an archive of really cool Apollo space mission photos, but the site is slow, so I've hosted some of the best ones.

Apollo 9 liftoff
Apollo 11 liftoff
Apollo 11 in the sky
View from Earth orbit
"The Apollo 11 flag did not stand long. It was blown over during takeoff by the LM ascent engine's exhaust plume"
Buzz Aldrin
Moon bootprint
Earth rise 1
Earth rise 2
Earth rise 3
Earth rise 4
Earth rise 5
Lunar Module ascent
Apollo 13 Mission Control during oxygen cell failure (OMGWTF)
View of Earth from Apollo 13

While we're on the topic of space, I found this. ENGAGE!

Michael Moore: REAL ULTIMATE POWER

I found a really good Rubik's Cube solver. It's not optimal, but it solved my cube in 90 steps.

I'm not usually political, but this is just disturbing. So if you claim the Holocaust never happened, Israel can force you to be extradited and prosecuted. Thoughtcrime, anyone? And why can Israel make laws that affect other nations?

Also, 2 new pictures of CmdrTaco. 1 2

I had a really strange dream, I figured I would write it down here before I forgot it. I was eating dinner at Grandpa's house, at a table in the downstairs TV room, it was right in the place Grandma's hospital bed was during her last few days. Grandpa and I were sitting at the table eating, but then Grandma was there too. None of us thought anything of it at the time, it just seemed like the regular routine. All of us eating dinner together. I think near the end of the meal, I realized that Grandma wasn't supposed to be there, and I asked her "Why are you here?" She told me "Oh, don't worry about that." In the dream after that, Grandpa, Mom and I were sitting in Grandpa's house at the upstairs table. I was eating a Rainbow Cone (chocolate, strawberry, sherbet, pistachio, and "yellow cherry" ice cream) that Grandpa got out of the cabinet. For some reason it didn't start melting until Grandpa took it out of the (room-temperature) cabinet, but the bottom of the cone was gone and some of the ice cream was dripping out onto a napkin on the table. Mom was sitting next to me, and Grandma was sitting at the end of the table, silent. I think Mom and I simultaneously realized that Grandma probably shouldn't be there, and we gave each other a look like "What's going on?" Grandma was wearing what looked like a blue sweatshirt, and shortly after Mom and I realized she was there, she stood up and said "I have to go now" in a weary voice and put on a white baseball hat with a black brim, that had some kind of logo on it. She walked to the front door, and there was a man there in a dark suit. I couldn't see his face. Right as the front door opened, I woke up.

Jaykc made a new version of the RPG.



I hope I receive one of these, just so I can mess around with them.



I went to the zoo:



Koz made a wallpaper. SIX HUNDRED KB!

Things:
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A NAZI!
Rock Paper Scissors Fight
Salad Fingers
Salad Fingers 2
IRV WHITE

Unorthodox wanted to be on the update.

Also, Azumanga Daioh is stupid and annoying.

Alright, edited, BladeTR isn't responsible for the attacks as far as we know. Some Framework members have made me quite unhappy, though. On a sidenote, AlbinoBlackshit.com now redirects to EMPTV, courtesy of Unorthodox.

This week has been HELL. COMPLETE AND ABSOLUTE HELL. I have never experienced so much frustration, anger, boredom, depression, and INSANE RAGE in my life. I swear, the whole funeral concept exists only to cause more pain for more people. TWO-DAY WAKE: Stand by your dead grandmother's corpse for SEVEN HOURS STRAIGHT, say hello to people you don't even know and probably won't see for years, and try to keep from bursting into tears in front of everyone. Then, DO IT AGAIN THE NEXT DAY! And then, on the day of the funeral, listen to really sad organ music while sitting there for 45 minutes looking at your dead grandmother. Then, go to the church, and try to sing even though you're all choked up. Then, the long procession to the cemetery by the smelly Argo factory. Say some prayers, cry some more, and leave. AND THEN GO TO A RESTAURANT WITH ALL THE PEOPLE YOU BARELY KNOW! EAT, DRINK, BE MERRY! I have no idea who the hell came up with the whole wake/funeral concept. Its only reason for existence seems to be just to cause FUCKING CRUELTY. You can tell that NOBODY wants to be there. Everyone is sad. Everyone is bored. Everything about the whole situation is SHITTY. If Grandma was alive, she probably would have told us to go home.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DEAL WITH CANCER!? What the hell kind of parasite kills its host? Grandma never drank, never smoked, ate healthy and always went to church. And yet she STILL died, for NO REASON. Cancer isn't even a method of natural selection, there is NO REASON FOR IT TO EXIST!

My uncle Johnny's new wife Denise had to turn the second day of the wake into one big bullshit festival. They were taking pictures of everyone in groups, telling them to smile. "SOMEONE YOU ALL LOVED IS DEAD, SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!" What the hell. And then they were showing everyone the photo album from their recent trip to Cancun. So recent, in fact, that they were all playing at the beach while my grandmother was in pain, dying. Included in the photo album were pictures of Denise's 13 year old daughter Bridget. In a bikini. On the beach. "Posing." That was just wrong.

On top of all this, Molly was being a stupid, self-centered, disrespectful little brat, and generally pissing us all off. She wouldn't stop hitting me and I'm not allowed to hit her back. And I had to go to uncle Johnny's house, and I'm so allergic to their damn Golden Retriever. That thing shed all over my clothes.

After this week, I am completely sick of going places, I am completely sick of doing things, I am completely sick of people. I'm just so tired. And I'm out of Pepsi. I want to scream. I want to scream, and scream, and keep screaming. I want to hit my bedpost with a metal pipe, even though Mom told me not to do that anymore. When I die, I want my organs to be harvested, then I want to be cremated, then I want my ashes to just be thrown off a hill. No big to-do.

I just can't believe I'm never going to see Grandma again.

Grandma died yesterday, at 3:40 AM. She always said she wanted to live to see me graduate. I feel awful.




VLC is a really, really, really good media player. It comes with lots of codecs preinstalled. I recommend it.

Jaykc released a demo version of the EMPTV RPG. In ALL CAPS. A GAME. Where you PLAY ROLES. Because it is a ROLE PLAYING GAME. The full version should be out in a month or two. I'm not really familiar with RPGs, but I appreciate his effort. Seb made the title screen. And yes, we all know the fight against the 3 guards is unreasonably difficult.

Yeah, I haven't updated in a little while. Not too much going on. My grandma's going to die soon, likely in the next couple of days. There's nothing sadder than the look on somebody's face when they know they're going to die, and have completely given up on living.

We had quite a bit of activity here last night. Z decided to be an idiot, pretend to be John Titor on ABS, and then make the ABS members think I was coming back (never going to happen). In the thread Z posted, Meglo decided to be an idiot and post a link to Framework. Obviously, I don't want thousands of morons knowing about our little slice of utopia. A poll was created in Framework to ban Meglo, at which point he created several accounts in a (futile) attempt to sway the vote. He was banned, and his extra accounts were removed. He then began to tell people in the ABS IRC channel about Framework. This may be continuing, but I don't really care. I'm just sick of him messing around, annoying people, and trying to ruin everything. His IP is 69.144.180.63 and his email is bitdeviant@yahoo.com. I'm considering reporting him to his ISP for abuse. At the same time as Meglo's repeated advertising of Framework, the server hosting EMPTV received a severe DDoS attack from what appeared to be a Korean botnet. At the time, we believed it was Meglo's doing, until logs showed that this had been going on since the 4th. Sinner, with the help of PortSentry, was able to block the attack after a couple of hours. Sinner, you rock. Cyber_Cowboy compiled the PortSentry logs into this list of attacking IPs. Blocking them would probably be in your best interest. Cyber_Cowboy, you also rock. Things seemed to have calmed down now, although matttheguy noticed that Meglo seems to be a bit of a "cyberstalker" who follows him from IRC network to network. I'll keep updating as the situation changes.

Also, Jaketeck bought me an SA Forums account in exchange for web design. SA is an awesome place, it's the highest quality forum I've ever seen. Thanks, Jaketeck!

Thanks to Z and appLe for the new themes.

The Conet Project is interesting, and more than a little creepy. Give it a listen, I think this one is pretty scary.

RealmMaster wrote a rant:
"So I go outside a week or so ago to check the mail, and see something laying on my porch. I go to it and it seems to be a small phone book. This isn't unusual, as we usually get this other little one to compete with the bigger guys. I go and pick it up and its the "Hispanic Yellow Pages", and I nearly toss this bad boy into the street. Now, don't get me wrong, I think it's AWESOME that these people are coming to America (legally, I'm not for any illegal entry). I mean, we're a good country, which is shown by the fact that people WANT to come here. Now, my philosophy is that if you are going to visit a country, you should at least know a little of their language, and if you are moving there, you should have it down packed pretty much before you get there, or learn it right away when you do. How else are you going to interact with its citizens. Expect us to change everything to your language? That's not really fair now is it? This goes for Americans going to other countries too. Sure there are Americans that go to other countries and expect them to speak English, but they are just as ignorant as those that come here and do the same. My deal is: Wanna visit? Know what you need to get by. Wanna live here? Learn the language. Period."

DC++ is a great program if you can find good hubs.

idown wanted me to post this:
"I recently bought a book called "X-treme Latin" by Henry Beard. I recommend everyone get it becaue of the sheer fact that it teaches you to say "Linge bacillum glycyrrhizae meum" which is roughly translated to "Lick my licorice stick", along with "Liguri lacertam quae sub toga mea vivit" that translates to "Lollipop my toga lizard". Here are more great latin insults and statements.
"Lege labris volumen inguinale mihi - Lip-read my trouser scroll
"Impone vectigalia pauperibus! - Tax the poor
"Oppetite mortem lumine amplificato stimulata emissione radiorum, cimices extraterrestriales foedi - Taste laser death alien insect scum
"Defrauda nationes minores in tua civitate - Screw minorities
"NIsi mecum concubueris, phobistae vicerint - If you don't sleep with me, the terrorists have won
"Solve lora infernis - Unleash Hell
"And of course there's the great bumper sticker: Te amat Iesus, ceteri te putant irrumatorem - Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole
"Quagis - Wassup
"Em, ichneumon, tempus est sufflamina temptare - Okay tailgater, time for a brake check
"And as a final note: Futae te ipsum - Go fuck yourself."

Oh, and CASH wants you all to know that he was drunk last night. We're proud of you, buddy!

<~rmuser> http://emptv.com/fuckingkoreans.php
<~rmuser> I love the filename
<+Cyber_Cowboy> rmuser
<~rmuser> Cyber_Cowboy
<+Cyber_Cowboy> My site reads off of a sql db
<+Cyber_Cowboy> and I named the table 'fucking_koreans'
<~rmuser> HAHAHAHAHA

This is one hell of a story!

In defiance of my usual policies on political matters, I wrote a rant about anti-Americanism. Don't worry, this won't become a regular occurrence. I wrote it in anger, and put no actual thought into it at all.

This is why you should use PGP. My public key is here.

I saw Spiderman 2. It was pretty cool, you should go see it.

I also wrote up my procedure for an obsessively precise peanut butter and jelly sandwich. No, I am not taking credit for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but apparently some people wanted to know why it takes me 10 minutes to make one.

I'm not sure what to say about this.

Well, the move seems to have gone just fine. Now there's more bandwidth, webstats, I have SSH access, and, thanks to the services of ZoneEdit, you can access the IRC channel by connecting to irc.emptv.com. I think I've fixed most of the problems, but if you notice anything wrong, please tell me. Strangely, this is the 200th update since the site's original creation.

I recently obtained a Gmail account, emptvz@gmail.com. It's better than any other webmail service I've used. For one thing, it outlines replies into an easy-to-follow layout, much like a conversation. Also, it lets you see full headers for every message. And unlike other free webmail providers, which usually disable your account if you don't log in for a month or two, Gmail won't disable your account for nine months. There's also a feature where you can "star" messages to mark them as important. Another useful feature is that display of external images in email is turned off by default, although you can click a link on the message to display the external images. It seems that emails are immediately indexed for the email search, unlike the delay of the web search. The advertisements are unobtrusive, and I actually havn't seen them on any of my emails besides Google's introductory email. Also, there are no advertisements for Gmail appended to emails you send, unlike Yahoo and Hotmail. And, one of the best features of all, any email sent to youraddress+whatever@gmail.com gets sent to youraddress@gmail.com. This has great potential. Messages can be filtered by what address they were sent to. You can use a custom address to register for a website, and if that address gets any spam, you'll know where it came from. Likewise, if you're banned from a forum, you can re-register with a seemingly new address. However, it would be easy to incorporate code into registration forms that checks for an email address containing @gmail.com and +, and then strips the + and everything after it up to the @, recreating the original address. I've noticed a few issues. Emails from other Gmail members are missing a lot of header information, including X-Originating-IP. However, emails frm Gmail members sent to non-Gmail accounts have all the headers. Also, email with HTML in it seems to take a long time to arrive, long time meaning three hours in some cases. Attachments are limited to 10MB, so you can forget about sending warez. In conclusion, Gmail is pretty cool, but I'm not about to rely on it for anything serious. Thanks to Deadman for inviting me. I do not have any invites right now, and nobody really knows how they're distributed. Try #gmail on EFnet, that's how I got mine.

Gmail FAQ

Rash is a very good bash.org clone, currently in use at qwnts.luniticfringe.net.

I saw Dodgeball the other day. It was okay, but I wouldn't bother seeing it again.

"Charlie the Chainsaw wants to play!"

Also, Coca Cola C2 tastes awful.

This is going to be the most insane movie ever. Although this may already be the most insane movie ever.

Once again, emptv.com is moving. Expect a downtime of up to 3 days while your ISP's DNS refreshes. In the meantime, you can hang out in #emptv on irc.luniticfringe.net. Many thanks to Sinner for providing the new hosting.

You are currently seeing THE NEW SITE.

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex is much, much better than the movie. Things actually happen. I recommend you see it. XDCC works well, although my hard drive space is now dangerously low.

Instead of putting a bunch of quotes here, I'll just direct you to this thread.

And now, a rant by mousse:

"Now-a-days the pizza delivery is faster getting to your house then the pigs are! My brother is fucking insane, so I locked him out my familys house. He went crazy and started screaming and shit then he called the police. It took the officer about 20-30 minutes to get to my house. The "officer" that showed up was as inane as they come. Holy shit he threatened not to let me off easy the next time I go over the speed limit or drive through a red light! I told him I didn't have a drivers liscense and he then threatened to not let me off easy the next time I break a minor law. Wow even officers think some laws are more important then others. That really sucks."

Geris wanted to be on an update, so here's his story:

Me, my shrink and some drugs.

As of now I off the happy numb pills also know as prozac. Now we all know what prozac is right? Its a powerfull anti-depressent. Now you are maybe asking yourself why did he have to take that shit. Well here is the very fucked up story.... It startedin Febuary of 2003 when I was 12 and in 6th grade. My Mom got this idea to take me to some place where they test children for mental disabilities such as ADD. Now I have a theory she got this idea from a TV news channel. Another bullshit story about how 1 in 3 children have ADD. Gez I hate TV mostly because of the greedy companies and the shitty news.[Thank the lord for the internet] Anyway I went to this place and took this test which took me 2 days to complete. now jump to a month latter, mom has just got the mail from the mail-box and I was sitting at the table doing some math homework when I heard her say "Oh my gosh, my baby has ADD." Now at this I though I was going to cry. The way my mom said it made me think it was serious and I was fucked up for life. Then seh told me it was just a small ammount[Do they messure ADD in grams or mililitter?] of ADD and I have to go see a Doctor about getting some meds. Ok now we go to the doctor some weeks latter and he looks at my test records and says "Hmmm lets give you an non-stimulant treatment. I think stratera would be good." Now for those who don't know ritilan is a stimulant and is jus ta a form of speed.[I'm not shitting you ritalin is speed] So, this doctor didn't like ritalin so he gave me stratera. Now jump to Januray 2004, After being on stratera for awile my mood became boring and mellow. I was tired all the time, didn't try to talk to people because I was trying to fucking pay attention in class and when I was bored in school I would put my head down and try to sleep or read a book. But no the teacher got all fucking worried and though I was depressed. So they called a meeting with my parents. After the meeting my Mom wanted me to see a shrink. She said that there was nothing wrong with me and they just wanted for the shrink to check me out. Bullshit! If they though I didn't have anything wrong with me then why did I have to see a god damn shrink! Gez I'm not that fucking stupid. Ok so I answered all of her bullshit questions and left promptly with my mom. Now week later my mom meets with the shrink again without me. She comes back and tellsm e to take this small white pill from now on and that I am off stratera. Well for the first few weeks a threw the pills away and I started to try tot alk to dicks a at school that I didn't like, stoped reading in class and didn't try to sleep. After awile my mom found the pills and started to make me take them. Now remeber I don't know what the hell I am taking beacuse they never told me what it is. Now jump to the first week of June. Ahh summer, no more school work, no more jocks or dicks. pure bliss. So that weekend my dad asked me if he wanted to see a movie that we both wanted to see, "Super Size Me". After the movie[It was a really good movie] in the car on the way home I asked my dad for some reason what were the little white pills mom makes me take. The answer he gave me shocked me and pissed the hell out of me. PROZAC!! Of all the things of in the world I was taking a fucking anti-depressent. Now the next day I asked my mom what were the little pills that she making me take. She gave me the name Zycolaft[Something like that] Now the answer she gave me was 100% true. She gave me the generic name not the brand name. So the week on June 17 I went to the shrink again. More bullshit questions, more "Do you feel depressed or sad." shit. After a bit I asked while my mom was in the room "What is the name of the pills I am taking?" The shrink gave my mom a look of concern and said the generic name. I replied "Isn't that Prozac?" As teh 1337 would say "qwned!" "Yes it is" she repiled. Now my mom was looking all worried that I had caught her half-lie. Next I said "I do not want to take this any more if that is fine."Bot my mom and the shrink agreed to my request. Today is June 18, 2004 I have now stoped taking Prozac, the shrink tells me it will take 3 weeks for it all to be out of my system but I feel better already. It feels great knowing that my parents[Mostly my mom] trying to control my feelings with drugs. I feel so much better. So in the end I guess this story has a happy ending.

~Geris

So, today Jason and I went to the local GameStop to look for a copy of the Ronald McDonald game. While there, I noticed something odd. Scattered amongst the many cartridges, there was a lone copy of Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend. I wasn't offended, it just seemed out of place. Sonic the Hedgehog, WWF Raw... tentacle rape. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over. Maybe they're shifting their target demographic or something. Maybe someone just offered to resell it to them and they never realized what it was. Either way, they might want to keep the things labeled "WARNING: ABSOLUTELY NOT FOR CHILDREN" seperate from everything else.

(And we didn't find the Ronald McDonald game. However, thanks to RealmMaster, we got the ROM.)

In four days, Framework already has 64 members and over 2700 posts. My concept seems to be working well. Also, Invision 2.0 PDR 5 just came out today. It really is an excellent system, far better than 1.3.1. I especially like the Repair and Rebuild function, which kept me from having to re-upload an old copy of the database to fix a trivial issue. I'd definitely recommend it.

<Meglo> I could care less if I was suspended from there. There is no reason I should be there. I contribute nothing.
<~rmuser> Well, at least you acknowledge your inherent worthlessness.

The members of Framework come up with some interesting stuff. Here, we have "Cradle of Insane Charknot Park" by ScareCrowMan:

"Educated in SATAN!
He's well dressed not funny, BECAUSE I"M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE!
And not much to say in most conversations, so he sold his soul to SATAN!
But he'll put the bill in all situations, RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
'Cause he pays for everything WITH VIRGIN BLOOD!!!

Girls don't like juggalos, girls like cars and money and SATAN!
juggalos will laugh at girls when they're not funny, I"M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE SATAN!

Paper or plastic,
Don't matter she'll have it, after selling her soul to Satan
Vacations and shopping sprees these are a few of her favorite things and sacrafices to the darklords of hell!
She'll get what she wants if she's willing to please SATAN!
His type of girl always comes with a fee YOU LIKE TO THINK YOU'RE NEVER WRONG!
Hey now there's nothing for free, you have to give your soul to DANI!!!! RAAAH!!!!

Girls don't like juggalos, girls like cars and money and SATAN!
juggalos will laugh at girls when they're not funny, I"M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE SATAN!

Let's go to hell!

Girls don't like juggalos, girls like cars and money and SATAN!
juggalos will laugh at girls when they're not funny, I"M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE SATAN!
The girls with the bodies like juggalos with Ferraris AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK!
Girls don't like juggalos, girls like cars and money and SATAN!
juggalos will laugh at girls when they're not funny, I"M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE SATAN!

All of these juggalos, and get all of these girls
Are losing their souls to SATAN!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
All of these juggalos, and get all of these girls
Are losing their souls to SATAN!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
All of these juggalos, and get all of these girls
Are losing their souls to SATAN!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
All of these juggalos, and get all of these girls
Are losing their souls to SATAN!"

This is my new desktop.

I bought a copy of Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson the other day. So far, it's really, really good.

<~rmuser|away> I heard you wanna fuck with Dre
<~rmuser|away> you picked the wrong motherfuckin day
<+Z> i heard you listen to moronic rap
<+Z> get a grip and shut your trap

Could you go through life with a name like this?

This is the sort of thing that really makes life worth living. At the risk of coining yet another catchphrase... blogocide?

I've created Framework, a forum based on last update's concepts. If you plan on joining, I encourage you to read the premise. Also, I've been working on a site for DHEP. The project's founder says he likes it, so that's good news.

Today, I left the ABS forums, with this message. This was a difficult decision, but I do not plan to come back unless some major things change, so please do not try to convince me to. Interestingly, 5 members have also left as a result of this.

<&S][nner> The last sound on the worthless earth will be two human beings trying to launch a homemade spaceship and already quarreling about where they are going next.

I (with the assistance of a few friends) have assembled this basic framework for (theoretically) better forums. This has not been tested, however, a forum system with these properties may be implemented in the future. I will change or add to this as I see fit.

Initial Conditions

1. Small community (< 100 members).
2. No ruleset.
3. All members have no powers.
   • Special case: Host/forum creator/admin(s). It is assumed that they will act as normal, powerless members.

Projections

1. When it becomes necessary, members will be chosen by other members to be in a position of power (moderators).
   • Note: I have a bit of an issue with the term "moderator", as it seems to imply that they are no longer really a member, which can lead to all sorts of bad consequences.
2. When it becomes necessary, a ruleset will be created that is agreeable to both members and moderators.
   • Recommendation: A ruleset that is not strict and absolute, but rather, a set of general guidelines that allows for judgment on a case-by-case basis.

General Concepts

1. Moderator actions should be subject to review.
2. It should be possible to remove the ability of certain members to create threads.
3. It should be possible to have threads go through a review process before they're posted.
4. It should be possible to restrict the ability to create threads based on postcount.
5. It should be possible to have certain members' threads go through a review process based on postcount.

I would like feedback on these ideas. You can contact me in #emptv on irc.luniticfringe.net.

My grandmother is possibly the best person I have ever known. She also has terminal, inoperable cancer. All they can do is give her chemotherapy and radiation in what is most likeky a vain attempt at making her live in pain for another year at best. Poison, nuke, repeat. That's all it is now. It's awful to see how frail she's become; she weighs less than I do, and can't even walk without getting tired. And it's absolutely sickening to know that when she does die, everything she was, her mind, her self, her very being, will be completely and irretrievably lost. To me, she is the last person in the world who deserves to die.

All of this is simply because her body is attacking itself. There is nobody to blame in this case; she is dying needlessly. Our selves, intelligences, "souls", are maintained only by this fragile, high-maintenance, utterly unreliable biological shell. If this was a video game, you would have only one life, no save points, slowly lose health throughout the course of the game, be surrounded by things that can easily kill you, and there is no way to win. If we don't die because of illness or injury, we die of old age. And our minds die with us. The human body is completely inadequate for the support of consciousness. Mortality is unacceptable.

I know many of you believe in an all-powerful, perfectly good deity, however, throughout my life I have seen absolutely no concrete evidence of His existence. Furthermore, I find it difficult to believe that He, the almighty and perfectly good being, would allow 150,000 of His creations (in His image, mind you) to die every day.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Right now, I'm just really angry at mortality, this situation that we're all in, the fact that something with as much value as intelligence is housed in something so weak, and destroyed so easily. We don't deserve that. Consciousness is worth so much more than that. Simply returning to dust is not an option.

SitePoint.com is a pretty good web developer site, especially its PHP forums.

<@PacoL250> hey rmuser
<@PacoL250> see if you can access my site
<@PacoL250> http://www.teaml337.org/
<@PacoL250> having troubles here
<~rmuser> nope
<@PacoL250> so...no good?
<~rmuser> nope
<~rmuser> I TOLD YOU IT'S A PUNK SERVER



I found this to be very interesting, and scary.

Several of my acquaintances and I have been working on spoofs of Johnen Vasquez's "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac". So far, there are 21 spoofs by 11 people, and another person is actually boycotting the site because of this feature.

A while back, ImageShack was blocked from ABS Forums. The staff refuse to explain this action, leaving the users to find other hosts, which are typically slower, unreliable, or require registration. On the other hand, the person running ImageShack has had a stable, fast, free service since October of 2003. I believe that the image host that a user chooses is their business. Therefore, I have provided this service for the members of the ABS Forums, which allows them to once again use ImageShack links. I hope somebody finds this useful.

This site's gotten 10000 hits. Nifty.

Z made a parody of EMPTV.

Interestingly, my dad has the same view on the Shrek advertising as I do.

This will probably only be funny if you know about myg0t: I hate yuo myg0t 2

<firemage17> lol yeah but normally firemage is always taken so i just put my favenumber on it
<%Mindless_Self_][ndulgence> its not taken
<firemage17> oh sit i better get it brb
* firemage17 (~myass@lcirc-3BB9AE5E.ph.ph.cox.net) Quit (Quit: )

My YTMND: Segway (credits to wooble? for the image edit)

<X2> My mom always thinks my dad is cheating on her.
<X2> My mom just found out that the dictionary is missing, and thinks my dad was looking up dirty words with another woman.

I was bored, so I made a useful page and a useless page (source).

<dethfromabove> Yeah, me and Yao went out for some beers after that game
<zeshin> You had gay sex?
<dethfromabove> ...
<dethfromabove> no, just beers
<zeshin> in the ass?
<dethfromabove> no, in the mouth...
<zeshin> Oh, I see...
<zeshin> Hahahaha
<dethfromabove> ...
<zeshin> Hahaha! PWNT!!
<dethfromabove> that came out wrong...
<zeshin> HAHA!!

http://www.livejournal.com/users/mbuonauro/
How about that, a LiveJournal user actually committing suicide instead of just talking about it.

I created this after seeing massive amounts of idiots who weren't even Jewish get offended by a symbol that actually represents peace and love:

Use as you please.

"You know, Linkin Park can be used to induce vomiting." -chumbawamba

Well, aside from PHP's $_SERVER['SERVER_NAME'] returning emptv.theseb.com instead of emptv.com like before (now corrected, thanks seb), I think everything is back in order. If you notice any problems, please tell me.

Strojovna 07's new album III came out recently. I think it's pretty good, if you like electronic/techno music. Also, I finally found The Picard Song, as seen on YTMND.

<%poke__egg> I SWEAR TO DRUNK I'M NOT GOD

The orc is down to a hundred life!

<@Zeshin> What if there were a lot of baby Reses?
<%res> Who the hell is rese?
<%res> oh
<%res> right
<@Zeshin> Congratulations.
<@Zeshin> We've got a rocket surgeon.

I wonder why the Garfield movie cross-marketing hasn't invaded Kit Kat bars yet. Really, it's a perfect target. Garfield is orange, the wrapper is orange. Garfield is a cat, the candy is named "Kat". Maybe chocolate is deadly to cats, I don't know. But I doubt the sodium in Goldfish is good for them.

The HUGE Plume: "IT MAKES YOUR EYES BURN!? THEN GET OUT OF THE FREAKING CHLORINE GAS!!!"

It seems like all of my friends are getting websites now. Check out Gashman the Uncontrollable, TeamL337.org, idown.luniticfringe.net, and coming soon, Atomboom.com.

<~rmuser> time for the sleeping
* rmuser is now known as rmuser|away
<PanicMan> now its time for my evil PLAN!
<PanicMan> MUAHAHAHAHAHH!
<PanicMan> Muahahahahah!
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* PanicMan Smacks Rmuser
* ~rmuser|away 's client dings every time you do that.
<PanicMan> oh, shit
<PanicMan> HE FOUND OUT
* rmuser|away sets mode: +b ~q:*!*@luniticfringe-1E3198B9.hln-mt.client.bresnan.net
<~rmuser|away> Gnight <3

OH YEAH!

X Gon Give It To Ya was featured on the front page of Albino Blacksheep again.

<tom-gone> what is bukkake?
<&rmuser> tom-gone: google for it
<tom-gone> hmm
<tom-gone> 4-bukkake.com
<tom-gone> Complete guide to bukkake, covering American Bukkake and Japanese Bukkake in detail
<tom-gone> sounds informative
<tom-gone> OH GOD NO

I'm getting really, really sick of anti-Americanism. Of course it's just horrible to hate Hispanics, Jews, black people, and gays, but wait, look at this! Hating a group of nearly 300 million people is just fine, because they're a bunch of crude, ignorant savages! Join the party! Seriously, this is no better than racism. I don't know why it's even considered acceptable. (Note: This rant came about as a result of my experiences in a large, diverse, community.)

I recently picked up a copy of Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid. Eliezer Yudkowsky says it's "the most intelligent, the deepest, the most beautiful book in the world." I think it's pretty good (and dense) so far.

It seems like once I got this site, people started assuming certain things. Namely, that I could host other sites, delegate webspace, give people FTP accounts or shells, etc. Well, guess what: I can't. So get the hell off my lawn, you damn freeloaders.

Jason and I recently explored the local sewer system. The first one began in a drainage ditch/small creek and ended in someone's backyard. The second one was the same, but with a different creek and backyard. Never wear long pants when exploring sewers. And never put wet shoes in the dryer. Pictures: 001 002 003 004 005

The Day After Tomorrow wasn't great, but it wasn't that bad either, despite the awful-looking CGI wolves and gimmicky "flash-freezing". I wouldn't go see it again, but it didn't feel like I wasted two hours.

Remember when I said the site was moving servers and there would be some downtime? Well, it happened, but not as I expected. Apparently, the site was reverted to an older version, and the current version just disappeared. Luckily I had a backup of the main page, but there are still some issues to be worked out. You can expect a bigger, better update once I get everything fixed up.

While at the mall yesterday, I bought Ghost in the Shell. Honestly, it wasn't very good. They presented some interesting concepts, and then just didn't do anything with them. The program became sentient, found a body, merged with the Major in a rather unexciting scene, and then... the end. It was only 82 minutes long, there was so much more they could have done! Hopefully Stand Alone Complex and Innocence are better. From what I've seen, Innocence is going to be the best thing since Garfield-free Goldfish. However, I'm pretty sure it's going to be released in the US by Dreamworks, the same bastards who made Shrek. May God have mercy on their souls if they mess it up, because I won't.

I think it's inevitable that there will eventually be brain implants, or some other method of direct neural interface. Once this happens, I'm sure the systems will be perverted by those looking for profits. It happened to the telephone, email, Usenet, the web, why not this too? Imagine having a rotating corporate logo in the corner of your field of vision. Imagine having ads artificially placed on the flat surfaces you see. It's not a very appealing prospect.

A friend recently told me about Adbusters, a very interesting anti-consumerism site. You should check it out.

S][nner's email to Michael Powell of the FCC:
"I've been looking at some of the recent complaints that have been released to public, and frankly I feel the restrictions are destroying the Americans freedom of speech. People who listen to the radio and watch the TV programs that are being complained about for the most part know that's what that program is about, and know that they don't have to listen or watch it if they don't want to. People are bitching for the sake of bitching, and are ruining it for the rest of the country. Frankly I don't see why you allow 1% of the population decide what the other 99% should be allowed to watch or listen to. I've seen programs I watch or listen to be censored out time and time again, and its disturbing how much people are allowed to interfere with others interests. At this rate, there wont be a freedom of speech within 10 years, at least not one that will be able to be recognized as freedom. A man can no longer say what he thinks on the air, because he has to worry about offending someone? If someone has a problem with what that person is saying, then they should do like the 99% of the population that respects freedom of speech does, and change the station. I know when I don't like something, I don't complain to the FCC about it, or I would be complaining about rap, country music, and BET, but I respect those that like that particular kind of music and programming enough to not complain, and not watch it. Last year in July alone there were 5,552 complaints about indecency/obscenity (out of an FCC report located here : http://www.stlmedia.net/pdf/quarter3complaintsfcc.pdf ). 5,552, what's that tell you? And how many of those were truly justified complaints? I know I for one am tired of seeing my few programs that I do pay attention to be restricted more and more because some soccer mom doesn't want her 9 year old son listening to it while she drives him to school, or watching it while she does work around her home, when all she has to do is turn it off (or like on the TV's with the V-Chip, Block it) and not have to worry about the child being exposed to the "evil" influences of a fart joke, or a phrase that could be considered a little risqué, but if listened to for what they are actually referring to, its not. (IE: WFBQ, 94.7 out of Indianapolis, and the "traffic hunt" you can guess what that sounds like, but they actually do the traffic reports like they claim they are going to do). Now I'm all for peoples rights to complain about legitimate things, but when you have to restrict what has been accepted for years now (Bob and Tom, Howard Stern, and many others) because some yahoo cant take their humor and cant change the station, then that's not peoples rights, that's taking the rights from them.

Thank you for your time
-S][nner-"

WTF?

"moarning is feeling very sad/depressed of over someone's death..well your just think about them...when people cry over someone's death and mean it... frick i'm smart for an 11 year old girl." -Thief_Girl_21

<bense> i just read the alt f4 thing
<bense> what is alt f4?
<%rmuser> try it
<Deadsy> try it
<cartufer> try it bense
<MMAS|Sad> try it

I went to the mall and Wal-Mart today, and the amount of advertising for Shrek was positively sickening. There were posters, plush dolls, candies. It was on soda bottles, bags of chips, Cheetos, shoes, the television screens, the shirts, there was not one place in the store where you could not see at least one Shrek-related item. It reminded me of the ubiquity and pervasiveness of a leader of a personality cult. I was constantly reminded of his existence, it was like everything was trying to hammer into my mind that THIS IS SHREK, YOU MUST SEE HIS MOVIE AND BUY THESE PRODUCTS. It seemed almost frightening. Is this level of marketing really necessary? Are they attempting to distract us from the fact that the movie has a thoroughly overused plot and is just another opportunity for the CGI companies to show off and make money? I'm tired of seeing this garbage everywhere, it actually enraged me. I am done with this. I am not going out to any stores until this advertising shitstorm passes through.

Ironically, I found my first bag of Garfield-free cheddar Goldfish at Wal-Mart. I am so very happy Shrek was not involved.

Now that that's been said, here's a list of useful freeware that I've actually used and approve of.

• Mozilla
  An open-source web browser with tabbed browsing, popup blocking, and themes. I've found it to be faster and more stable than Internet Explorer, and with more useful features.
• PGP
  A public-key encryption program for email and files. It can also securely erase data.
• SETI@home
  A distributed computing program that analyzes data recived from the Arecibo Radio Telescope for extraterrestrial signals. The command-line version is faster.
• Winamp
  An MP3 player that can also play videos, streams, and video streams. Also has an equalizer, playlist, media library, themes and plugins.
• HTML-Kit
  A web-oriented code editor with an integrated FTP client. I use it for this site.
• mIRC
  An IRC client with many features and excellent scripting capabilities. It says it's shareware, but it will work past the "trial period".
• Sam Spade for Windows
  A freeware network query tool. It can ping, traceroute, nslookup, whois, IP block whois, dig, finger, and more.
• NMap
  A port scanner and "network exploration" tool, designed for scanning large networks, but also works well on individual hosts.
• Apache
  A widely used open-source HTTP server.
• PHP
  An easy yet powerful web scripting language. Goes very well with Apache. I use it on this site.
• TheSHAD0W's Experimental BitTorrent Client
  A peer-to-peer client with status indicator, download rate, connection options, and other advanced functions.
• PeerGuardian
  A P2P-oriented firewall that blocks connections from known anti-P2P entities.
• CDex
  A CD ripper and encoder. Can create playlists and ID3 tags, supports many file formats, and also uses CDDB.
• PuTTY
  A telnet/SSH/Rlogin client, also a terminal emulator.
• DAEMON Tools
  "An advanced application for multiprotection emulation." I really have no idea what that means, but it creates a virtual drive that you can use to run CD images as if they were an actual CD.
• WinBar
  A system monitoring toolbar which also provides access to controls such as time synchronization, email checking, Winamp, and volume.
• Home Planet
  A high-resolution earth map, satellite tracker, and general space/astronomy package.
• Aros Fractals
  A high-resolution fractal exploration program.
• Vitrite
  Enables adjustment of transparency on almost any window. Only works on Windows 2000 or XP.
• Trillian
  An integrated IM client for AIM, ICQ, MSN and Y!M.

"A Sound of Thunder" by Ray Bradbury

In case you didn't know, the IRC channel is #emptv on irc.luniticfringe.net. Check it out if you have the time, it's pretty nifty.

zantolak: hello
jcan4202001: how are you
zantolak: asl?
jcan4202001: 24/m/englewood
jcan4202001: you
zantolak: ROLOQWNT
jcan4202001: what
zantolak: u want the cyber
jcan4202001: what do you look like
zantolak: my pic is at http://emptv.com/images/chrissy.jpg
jcan4202001: can't see it
zantolak: hmm, try http://emptv.com/images/chrissy-at-dance.jpg
*** "jcan4202001" signed off at Mon May 24 01:37:16 2004.

No, I am not going to put forums on the site. Or a guestbook. Or a commenting system. EMPTV is not a community and it is not a Xanga, you retards.

I hate Garfield and the Garfield movie. It's the cross-marketing. That goddamn cross-marketing... GARFIELD IS IN MY PEPPERIDGE FARM CHEDDAR GOLDFISH. These Garfield-shaped crackers fundamentally alter the cheesy taste. They lack the empty space in the center, and therefore have a taste similar to Cheez-its. If I wanted the taste of Cheez-its, I would buy Cheez-its. But I did not buy Cheez-its, I bought Goldfish. So now I have bags full of these useless Garfield crackers, and I have to pick through every bag of Goldfish to get what I wanted: Goldfish. Advertisers, I can always shut off the television and radio, but please stay the hell out of my food.

* wombleaces (wombleaces@lcirc-28CD6020.in-addr.btopenworld.com) has joined #talk
<wombleaces> joe r u unbanned from that room?
<Forged> r u lazy or just retarded?
* wombleaces (wombleaces@lcirc-28CD6020.in-addr.btopenworld.com) has left #talk

This may be the single most offensive thing ever.

<~Apocalypse> ?JOIN #ALBINOBLacksheep
<~Apocalypse> ?join #albinoblacksheep
<~Apocalypse> OMG HER CAPS LOKC IS BROKEN
<~Apocalypse> ackkk
<~Apocalypse> i cant do a slah
<~Apocalypse> ?quit

I wish my rats did this.

I'm working on learning SQL, and you can look forward to a polling script in the near future.



<+DMM> kool, how old are you RM if you dont mind me asking?
* +rmuser is 15.082341 years old.
<+DMM> convert that to years please
<+DMM> i aint fuckin with math right now
<+DMM> oh wait

I learned how to set up UnrealIRCd over SSH. It's actually not that hard.

This may have absolutely no relevance here, but I'm particularly proud of it.



<+Captain_Gaping_Anus> http://www.imgspot.com/u/04/140/02/hahainternet.JPG
<+Captain_Gaping_Anus> greatest picture ever

Just walking down the road.
fftacs15.com

Apparently, someone named Andy Kaufman faked his death 20 years ago, and has now returned. Once again, absolutely no relevance here.

zxvure

Correction: Andy Kaufman is dead and has not actually returned. Oh well.

According to my host, according to his host, there will be some downtime in the next 2 weeks as we move to better servers. So, if you can see this page, the site is UP. If you can't see this page, the site is DOWN.



<&aNGeL> rmuser is usually right

I've made a new page: IRC Qwntes.

Illogic: Molly wants me to go to Bill's apartment to show her how to burn CDs. I don't want to go there. I don't want to have to see that guy or go to where he lives or do anything remotely associated with him ever again. Today, my mom asks me to go help her burn CDs. I then ask Mom if she would go up to his apartment as well. She refuses and claims she probably isn't even legally allowed to, and then says I'm probably not either, yet still insists that I go help Molly. I have not yet helped her.

Boredom is death in slow motion. Why is it that every single time I have gone to a store with women, they are completely unable to stay focused and end up wasting my time and their money? I completely fail to understand this. Do they suffer from some sort of consumer's ADD?

<@rmuser|away> hmm, my massive knee scrape is starting to leak pus
<+kyrigo> lovely
* RaIn (~RaIn@lcirc-38769059.dsl.pipex.com) has joined #rain
* ChanServ sets mode: +oa RaIn RaIn
<@rmuser|away> ugh, it feels like glue
<&RaIn> what does?
<&RaIn> wait do not answer me
<&RaIn> :/



You know how the media reports all sorts of bad stuff, which makes people afraid to use the internet, go out at night, and so on? Well, do shows like Dr. Phil, which show horribly dysfunctional people and relationships, make people afraid to get into relationships?

<%Zeshin> buttsekz
<%Zeshin> :(
<&rmuser> y helo that buttsechs!!!?!?!??!
<%Zeshin> LOLX
<%Zeshin> Spurt spurt
<&rmuser> skeet skeet skeet
<%Zeshin> rmuser
<%Zeshin> As much as I respect you
<%Zeshin> If you ever do that again
<%Zeshin> I will kill your parents/rodents/connection to the internet

Also, X Gon Give It To Ya was linked on another blog, which I don't mind linking because he doesn't consider himself a true blogger.

"The official rmuser recognition thread"

* Dolph is playing with his privates
<Dolph> I got these new toy soldiers the other day..
<rmuser> Dolph: you're not the only person who reads bash.org
<Dolph> =P
<Dolph> i know
<Dolph> it was just a funny line
<Dolph> i wanted to see the general reaction
<rmuser> ROLLOFFLEMAO
<rmuser> there's your general reaction



Maybe I should make a page for this sort of thing.

Unorthodox
Xiphoid Orbit

<seb> they spelled lounge wrong
<seb> they used a "T"

The AI-Box Experiment

I hope MovableType and MovableType blogs die because of this.

<rmuser> kept getting postponed
<rmuser> then we were living out of boxes for a year
<lnxduk> postpwned
<rmuser> because my mom insisted on packing ahead of time
<rmuser> postQWNED
<lnxduk> what's the q thing? it's wrong
<rmuser> no, it's right
<lnxduk> I could understand ioned
<lnxduk> p is right next to o on the keyboard
<rmuser> if qwned is wrong then pwned is worng
<rmuser> owned : pwned :: pwned : qwned
<lnxduk> pwned is just a mistype
<lnxduk> p is right next to q
<rmuser> often intentional.
<rmuser> no it's not
<lnxduk> you can't accidentally type q instead of o
<rmuser> yeah you could
<lnxduk> and I had a mistype above
<rmuser> if you were stupid
<lnxduk> p is next to o
<lnxduk> see how easy it is to have a mistype?
<rmuser> you hit q instead if o!
<rmuser> see how easy that was?
* lnxduk was just qwned



<rmuser> PacoL250: you're getting a server?
<PacoL250> well from punkserver.us
<rmuser> uh oh... has punk in the name.. not a good sign
<Zeshin> Never is.
<Zeshin> Let's go listen to Nofx.
<rmuser> $25 a year though, that is good
<PacoL250> why rmuser?
<PacoL250> BladeTR gave me the link
<PacoL250> I figured it was good
<YewnEEk> As a punkserver it'll always be down and when you ask why it'll give you the fingers and tell you to go 404 yourself


We got a new cage for the three smaller rats, who are now almost as big as Pi and Coco. I'd take pictures, but due to Molly's stupidity, I am unable to. She still hasn't named her mice. I suggested LOL, ROFL, and LMAO. Or Own, Pwn and Qwn...

* cythrawll sets mode: -v BladeTR
<PacoL250> woah
<PacoL250> pWN3d
<BladeTR> stupid american
* BladeTR (BladeTR@lcirc-6D8400.sympatico.ca) has left #albinoblacksheep
* BladeTR (BladeTR@lcirc-6D8400.sympatico.ca) has joined #albinoblacksheep
* ChanServ sets mode: +v BladeTR
<rmuser> qwned.
* idown (~idown@lcirc-5ECB875.tampabay.rr.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer.)
<cythrawll> ok why the q now?
<cythrawll> owned
<cythrawll> then pwned
<cythrawll> now qwned
<PacoL250> I think rmuser made that up
<cythrawll> the q is too mcuh
<rmuser> qwned > pwned + owned
<PacoL250> Cause he's all L337 like that
<PacoL250> :)
<cythrawll> q is too much
<rmuser> how is it any worse than pwned?
<cythrawll> because pwned is pronouncible
<cythrawll> qwned is just awkward
<duct_tape_princess> qwned is pronouncable
<rmuser> it's like, quoned
<cythrawll> its awkward
<duct_tape_princess> pfft
* BladeTR sighs
<duct_tape_princess> pansy
<PacoL250> ok lets try this again...
* PacoL250 Winamp v5 Playing: 205.188.234 (06:03 of 00:00) (56 KBps/22 KHz/0.00 MB)
<rmuser> as opposed to powned? that is awkward
<PacoL250> hmm
<BladeTR> losers
<PacoL250> kinda worked
* BladeTR goes idling
<PacoL250> meh
<cythrawll> powned is ok
<Leo> Am I a loser?
<rmuser> kwoned.
<PacoL250> ok now that's just killing it
<BladeTR> al capowned > *
<cythrawll> but i still,and will alsways enjoy
<cythrawll> pwnt
<rmuser> olopwnt.
<rmuser> qwnt?
* Leo reexamines life
* AngryBeaver (~deemtee@lcirc-246D15F6.mia.bellsouth.net) has joined #albinoblacksheep
* Leo takes spelling lessons
<PacoL250> CapWN3d...lol
<PacoL250> See that's been used
<cythrawll> CapWN3d is awesome
<rmuser> pwn3d is too much
<PacoL250> or P'Z0wn3d
<cythrawll> pwnt
<rmuser> own3d or pwned is okay
<cythrawll> ^^perfection
<rmuser> but not pwn3d
<Leo> So how is it going BladeTR?
<PacoL250> pWN3d has always been teh awexome
<PacoL250> :)
<cythrawll> its too much
<rmuser> qwned qwns pWN3d

Also, this is worth a look.

Molly got 3 mice from PetsMart last night, a black one, a brown one, and a grey one. Mom and Molly transferred them from their box to the cage while they were in the car, which really wasn't a good idea. For being so small, mice are very fast. Faster than rats. The grey one nearly escaped during the transfer to the first cage, and while we were at the Dunkin Donuts drive through, the black one escaped from the cage. So we had to go back to PetsMart and get a mostly solid plastic cage for them. Then when Mom and Molly were transferring them from the first cage to the second cage (while still in the car), the grey one ran up on to Molly's shoulder, launched itself at the car window, smacked right into it, fell down, and ran back up her leg and on to her arm. All in the space of a few seconds. I suppose we won't be playing with the mice as much as the rats, if they continue their pattern of running completely out of control. They're nearly impossible to grab.

> before I finally go to sleep... I just want to say... read this: http://www.fascinating-destroyer.net/kelly/chuckpalahniukguts.htm
: hmm
> most fucked up thing i have ever read
: this is...
: weird, at best.
> it gets worse
> nauseating at best
: ouch
: the wax thing
> oh, it gets WAY worse...
: did he puke in the water or what
: OH HELL

And yes, I am aware the site was down for approximately 18 hours and 35 minutes. It was not under my control.

Update: I just saw Kill Bill volume 1. It was awesome and I recommend you see it.

I feel really nostalgic today. And that doesn't happen often. It's the web design. Two years ago, I was at my dad's house, on a hot summer day, building one of my first websites. Tweaking every aspect of it to make it look just right, mixing and matching colors, and I think I stole a lot of design from the old SteakAndCheese.com. It was grey, like this one, but lighter. Two columns, a wide one on the left for content, and a small one on the right for links or whatever suited the page. It used tables for layout, but I still declared it XHTML 1.0 Transitional and used CSS, even though it was nowhere near valid. And then I said my site was best viewed in Internet Explorer. But that was a long time ago, web standards and browsers have changed. I used a lot of 88x31 link buttons. The updates looked like this one, although sometimes I didn't update for weeks, once for 3 months. I still think it looked pretty good, though.

Today, I'm at my dad's house again, on another hot summer day. And I'm making another website. Tweaking the CSS positioning, probably going to make it grey, and getting the idea for it from some Flash template site. Content on the left, links on the right. Not that much has changed in 2 years.

I think I did a good job: http://rhodes.globat.com/~luniticfringe.net/

Also, someone on ABS Forums posted a strange story about extremely powerful government software called PROMIS, which I have mirrored here. It's too weird to be completely false.

The IRC channel will be moving has moved to irc.luniticfringe.net in the near future. Yes, that's "lunitic". With an "i". All ops and regular visitors to #emptv are advised to register their nicks on the new network as soon as possible so they can be added to the access list once the channel moves. The command to register is /msg NickServ register PASSWORD EMAIL. Also, I'm designing the network's site, which may or may not work for you depending on whether or not your ISP's DNS has refreshed. And if you didn't know, you can be connected to multiple IRC networks simultaneously, so you can still talk to everyone on LCIRC or wherever.

<Batty> identify poopoo
<Batty> fuck
<rmuser> hahahahaha
<Batty> well woops
<Chongablonga> lmao batty
* Batty (Batty@lcirc-1E39F139.speed.planet.nl) Quit (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by rmuser)))
-NickServ- Ghost with your nickname has been killed.
<Chongablonga> LOL
<DirtyHarry> hah
<Jim> pwnt
<DirtyHarry> rmuser your so mean
<rmuser> I won't do it again... hell I thought he was joking!

Update: I got a 30 on the ACT! I guess being on the internet 16 hours a day DOESN'T make me stupid.

Yes, I am aware that the SETI page doesn't work most of the time. That is not my problem. SETI@home's web servers keep having errors. This has been going on for at least a year.

"Power Blade" Review
Guest article by Ovens



My first submission to the review section is a game for the NES called "Power Blade". I cannot stress enough that you do not play this game. I played it and reviewed it so you wouldn't have to.

Plot: I'm not sure if there IS a plot. So I'll just make one up based on what I witnessed during the first level, or "sector". Apparently, some time in the future, a guy in blue padded sweat pants in a black muscle shirt who looks ridiculously like Arnold Schwarzenegger mixed with Duke Nukem decides that he wants to shut a bunch of "sectors" down. Now, by having the word "Blade" in the title, I expected him to wield some sort of sword or knife. I didn't know how wrong I was.



That's right, he uses a boomerang. Against semi-automatic weapons. With no protection except his nifty sunglasses. This ought to be loads of fun.

Gameplay: So, after a nifty level select screen, I ended up choosing "Sector 1" because it's always good to start at the beginning. I noticed that despite the obvious flaw in his chosen arsenal, the main character was insanely adept at jumping. He could jump about two and a half times his own height. This came in handy, because the ladders were placed high above the ground, apparently to prevent intruders from infiltrating the facility. But they didn't realize the possibility that their enemy might have pneumatic leg implants or a really good personal trainer. After scampering about the first level, throwing blue boomerangs at brown guys with guns that shot gigantic orange pill/cork things, I found a vital piece of information.



According to this guy who looked exactly like me, but with red pants, my name was Nova. Now that I knew my name, I got a lot more optimistic about the quality of this game. He gave me an ID card to get into "Sector 1", which is where I thought I already was. When I jumped to the right to grab onto a ladder, I died, and so did my optimism. I respawned in the same exact place, but the red guy was gone. I decided not to risk a jump to my death, and I climbed back down the ladder I had climbed to meet Mr. Red.

I then found a power-up that covered me in armor. Here's a screenshot of that.



Notice in the upper-right corner that there are now three big white dots under a helmet-looking thing. Basically, the armor will absorb all damage from three individual hits. I went back down the ladder and got hit about five times.

After progressing a bit further, I found a door with a big "1" on it. I went to it and pressed up. I got a message along the lines of "ID Confirmed" and the door opened. What I saw when I got inside was not a pretty sight.



Yeah, the first boss was a huge mecha-turtle/bird that shot the weird yellow sponge/cork/biscuit things as it hopped over you. I died on my first attempt to slay this demon, but the second time I got it. After my grueling battle that included such exciting elements as running back and forth under a big metal abomination while throwing blue boomerangs up at it, I get this:



YAY! I beat the first level! And now access is permitted! To where, I never found out, because I died about three seconds into the next level.



As "fun" as this game was, and I use the term "fun" extremely loosely, I couldn't compel myself to continue. I just had a hunch that every "sector" would suck as much as the first. So, here's my critique of the game after one level:

Sound- 3/5
It's an NES game, so the sound just isn't going to be anything special, but even by NES standards, it was subpar. By "subpar", I mean "annoying as hell".

Graphics- 4/5
Again, NES graphics aren't really anything special, but this was okay by NES standards.

Plot- 1/5
At least they gave him a name, but that's about it.

Gameplay- 3/5
Well, it's fun for the first minute or two, but then the novelty of whacking guys in tan armor with boomerangs wears off.

Overall- 2.5/5
There was nothing really original about this game, except for the boomerang thing. I enjoyed about half of the first level, and that was it.

Interesting visitor of the day: 205.56.129.99 on /x/index.php. ARIN WHOIS:

OrgName:    DoD Network Information Center 
OrgID:      DNIC
Address:    7990 Science Applications Ct
Address:    M/S CV 50
City:       Vienna
StateProv:  VA
PostalCode: 22183-7000
Country:    US

NetRange:   205.0.0.0 - 205.117.255.255 
CIDR:       205.0.0.0/10, 205.64.0.0/11, 205.96.0.0/12, 205.112.0.0/14, 205.116.0.0/15 
NetName:    JMCIS-BLOCK
NetHandle:  NET-205-0-0-0-1
Parent:     NET-205-0-0-0-0
NetType:    Direct Allocation
NameServer: NCC.NCTS.NAVY.MIL
NameServer: GATE.NCTS.NAVY.MIL
Comment:    DOD Network Information Center
Comment:    Space and Naval Warfare Systems
Comment:    Washington, DC 20363-5100 US
RegDate:    
Updated:    2004-04-20

TechHandle: LS529-ARIN
TechName:   Slade, Lawana 
TechPhone:  +1-850-452-7562
TechEmail:  LSLADE@nnic.navy.mil 

OrgTechHandle: MIL-HSTMST-ARIN
OrgTechName:   Network DoD 
OrgTechPhone:  +1-703-676-1051
OrgTechEmail:  HOSTMASTER@nic.mil

Department of Defense. X Gon Give It To Ya. And referred from ABS. Weird.

X Gon Give It To Ya made the front page of Albino Blacksheep. I'm rmuser, if you haven't figured that out. This is so awesome. Thanks to AB, mrWoot and Jaur for making this possible.

In one day, this site has gone from #7 to #3 in a Google search for "emptv" and is now outranked only by a blog at emptv.org.
It is now #1. And will probably fluctuate.
Yep, back to #3.
Once again at #1. Right after I wrote that, back to #2. I should write a script to do this. And yes, I am aware that the site was down for 5 hours.

This is worth a look.

It's here. It's finally here.

Please notify me of any problems, my e-mail is zach[@]emptv[dot]com and I'll be in #emptv on irc.lcirc.net.

If all goes well...
This site will be moving to emptv.com tomorrow. This site will also be moving to a different host tomorrow. It'll actually be more like a copy. If it works, I can inform my current host to take this site down. If it doesn't, hopefully this site will still be here. You may experience technical difficulties, or you may not. Either way, expect that this location will no longer be updated and emptv.com will.

Many thanks to my dad and seb. Kotik, no hard feelings, I hope ImageShack prospers.

15 years, 15 trips around the Sun. It really hasn't been as long as it sounds. I'm still not sure if I'm satisfied with my life so far. Sure, I've learned more in the past 7 months than the 14 years before it, but what is it good for? I'm relatively satisfied with it, but what will it get me? Why is my knowledge worthless unless it's certified by some bureaucracy? And yet there's another part of me that just doesn't care. Does it matter if other people think I'm worthless? If I know everything I want to know, that's a very good thing, regardless of what people think of it. Though I suppose it's a bit selfish.

I've noticed I'm pretty different from most other kids my age. They tend to wear brand-name clothing, "hang out", cause trouble for their enjoyment, and have girlfriends. I, on the other hand, buy my clothing from Wal-Mart, stay at home and code, non-violently, for enjoyment, and couldn't care less about having a girlfriend. I don't do these thing just to be a "teenage rebel" or pseudo-anarchist, that's just how I am and how my life has turned out. And I'd never want anything else.

Alright, so I have "so much potential". Is it necessary that I live up to it? Does everyone have to become a productive member of society? Some of us don't value money as much as everyone else does. Some of us are satisfied even if we have no money. It is a tragic assumption that money is prerequisite to happiness.

719157658 seconds here and counting.

Update, 16:57 UTC: nipr.mil/DoD/DISA was here again with IP 198.26.120.12 and hostname WCS1-MCPHERSON.NIPR.MIL. The FDA was also here this morning with IP 198.77.181.7 and hostname ocswall01.fda.gov.

Interesting fact about Patrick Stewart: He is a huge fan of 'Beavis and Butthead' and is the self-proclaimed owner of "the biggest collection of Beavis and Butthead memorabilia on the West Coast". He has also been scolded by several fans for wearing Beavis and Butthead shirts with such sayings as "Education sucks". He has been quoted as saying, "When it comes to sheer quality of entertainment, there's little better than 'Beavis and Butthead'!"

18:41 UTC: Sandia National Laboratories came back, IP 134.253.26.9, hostname sahp4058.sandia.gov.

Happy Earth Day, everyone!

Gifts received so far:

• An insanely great drawing from Fred
• Yes Symphonic Live DVD
• The Matrix Revolutions DVD
• Globe (for project)
• US $100
• Candy

Yes, I'm still alive. It's just that I don't have much to write about anymore. Once again, censorship is a very bad thing.

If you haven't noticed, I've added a HOWTOs section. Hopefully some will find it helpful. If you have any questions, contact me.

The referrer logs lead me to believe that this LiveJournal linked to my DMX Tribute (it's also been getting a disproportionate amount of hits from Penn State). However, because the LiveJournal is "friends-only", I cannot verify this.

I've updated the visitors page. Actually, I update it multiple times every day. I could just use eXTReMe Tracking, but I don't trust it. So far I've had visits from 38 countries, 36 states, 6 provinces, 52 educational institutions, 7 companies, and 10 government/military entities.

Wikipedia is a completely open, free, user-edited encyclopedia. It's doing surprisingly well.

Regarding all the trouble with the site the past few days: Apparently, I have to be sensitive to the fact that people I know from the physical world will view this page. I was never very good at being sensitive.

I'm getting really sick of all the negative media hype about the internet. It creates such an awful paranoia. The internet is not swarming with evil people who will stalk, kidnap, rape, and murder you. But telling people all these "horror stories" makes them believe that. And another thing: there's such a stigma attached to the word "chatroom" that I am reluctant to use it in discussions with family members. People seem to associate it with pedophiles now. It's because of the same anti-internet hype and horror stories. People need to pull their heads out of the sand, think logically for a few minutes, and realize that the internet is a wonderful place if you know how to use it. I think this sums it up quite nicely: To Parents: The Internet is NOT the Devil

I've decided to put the list of visitors to my site on its own page, for easy updating. Visitors page. Also, I've reorganized the links page.

Also, my birthday's in a week or so. If only it was a few years later, I could be getting this.

I'm at Dad's house for the first time in a couple months. He set up lots of fish tanks while I was gone. A 7-watt blue bulb in a dark room looks a lot like moonlight. I planned on learning Tcl tonight, but abandoned that idea after discovering I have no practical use for it. Anyway, there are a few things I plan to do with the site. First, I'm going to add the site for my SETI team. Actually, that site is already here, but there will be major changes, like valid XHTML, CSS, and PHP. Looking back on it, that site is just the perfect opportunity to use PHP. Column of links on one side, updates on the other, header, footer, it would actually be a lot like this site, just with a much different stylesheet. Then I'll probably organize the links page. I'm also going to change some code behind the scenes that probably won't affect you, but will be more convenient for me.

No recent visits from the government or military, although I've had visitors from Canada (Vancouver, Toronto), Washington (Bellevue), Massachusetts (Harvard University), Australia, Florida (Tampa Bay, Florida Gulf Coast University), Colorado, Illinois (Chicago, Northwestern University, Lanark, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign), Scotland, England (London), Tennessee, Japan, Pennsylvania (Philadelphia), Hawaii, Alaska, Belgium, Missouri (St. Louis), Turkey, Michigan, Russia, Switzerland, Brazil, California, Israel, the Virgin Islands, France, Maryland, Mexico, Washington DC, Georgia, New Mexico (Albuquerque), Denmark, Rhode Island, Holland, Austria, Wisconsin, Thailand, Singapore, Italy, Poland, Oregon (Reed College), Germany, Connecticut, Oklahoma, North Carolina (University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill), Portugal, New Jersey, New York (New York City, University of Rochester), and Texas (Houston, Victoria College, University of Texas at Austin). I'll tell you how I found all that in a later update or something. I think I'm going to stick thumbtacks in my globe for every place my site has been accessed from.

And thanks to seb for helping with an aforementioned PHP problem.

What is this?

Sandia National Laboratories came back to my site today, with IP 134.253.26.12 and hostname sahp4064.sandia.gov. A traceroute revealed they were using ESnet, "...a high-speed network serving thousands of Department of Energy scientists and collaborators worldwide... ESnet provides direct connections to all major DOE sites with high performance speeds, as well as fast interconnections to more than 100 other networks." Interesting. Also, the state of Connecticut (IP 159.247.1.197, hostname proxy.state.ct.us) was here. I've recently been informed that the March 16 visits from nipr.mil were from an acquaintance on ABS Forums. So that's solved.

Today, I realized that I don't watch TV or listen to the radio. I didn't just one day decide to stop, I stopped over time because there's nothing good on. So I guess that frees up some time.

Also, I think I may have found the absolute worst page ever. Warning, insane misspellings may cause heart attack or stroke.

My DMX tribute was linked in this LiveJournal, and is now the #1 result when Googling for "x gon giv it 2 ya" or "x gon giv it to ya".

And more pictures of the rats.

Today, Sandia National Laboratories visited my site with an IP of 134.253.26.9. Upon searching through the logs, I found that that IP has been visiting my site since March 25. According to their website, Sandia National Laboratories is "Operated by Lockheed Martin Corporation for the Department of Energy's National Nuclear Security Administration". Also, "Sandia's primary mission is ensuring the U.S. nuclear arsenal is safe, secure, reliable, and can fully support our Nation's deterrence policy." Pretty interesting. Also, nipr.mil/Defense Information Systems Agency/the Pentagon came back today, with an IP of 198.26.118.36 and a hostname of WCS1-MOFFETT.NIPR.MIL. They seem to have found my site by Googling for "checkmark image".

I'd just like to say that censorship is a very bad thing.

Also, I've kind of updated my IRC Reference.

I just received an e-mail that was supposedly from Hotmail, saying I had to forward it to 15 people or my account would be shut down. The funny thing is I don't use Hotmail. So I've posted the addresses of all the ignorant people who forwarded it on this page so spambots will read it and spam their addresses. That's what people get for forwarding stupid stuff to me.

Coincidence? 3 minutes after I mention the hits from nipr.mil to a friend, his site gets its first ever hit from 198.26.126.13, WCS2-SCHRIEVER.NIPR.MIL.

The ACT wasn't that bad, except the math section, I'm pretty sure I got at least 20% of that wrong. I didn't really see anyone I hate, although the fact that I was surrounded by complete idiots was driven home by the phrase "I LOVE ARILS TITS" crudely engraved on my desk. On a much more interesting note, I got 3 more rats last night. We found them at PetsMart, and Mom thought they were really cute. And we have the resources to care for a few extra rats, so why not? They're all male, and they're a lot younger than Pi and Coco were when we got them, I think they're only 1 or 2 months old. They're white, except for their heads and the stripe on their backs, which are black. We're pretty sure they're all from the same litter. We're not sure if they're dumbo rats, maybe they just have to grow into their ears. I named the biggest one Da Vinci (I was originally going to name Coco Da Vinci, but Molly decided to name him Coco), the second-biggest one CmdrTaco, and the smallest one Tiny. He's so small he looks like a mouse, and his black patches are more gray. I've been having some trouble telling Da Vinci and CmdrTaco apart since they're almost the same size, but Da Vinci's tail is blotchy and CmdrTaco's tail is all white. Photos. I'll probably get some better ones later.

Also, I've made the site no-www Class B compliant, meaning that whenever you go to a page on www.zach.romshack.us, the URL is rewritten so it's just zach.romshack.us. Basically, www. is pointless, redundant, and a waste of space, so why use it? I was considering making the site no-http/Class X7.45 compliant, which entails removal of the "http:" from URLs since HTTP may not always be the protocol used to transfer web pages, resulting in URLs like //google.com/. However, since Safari, Omniweb, and some versions of Opera don't support this, I'm going to wait a while.

"FATMOUSE IS COMING AND HE HAS A MESSAGE AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE IT."

pisg is a pretty neat IRC stats program, if you can figure it out, that is. Thanks to mrWoot for helping me with it. I think I'm going to learn Perl tonight.

Update: I have recently been informed that my host does not support Perl. Not really a big loss, though. I'm sure Perl has uses outside of web applications, and from what I've heard, anything web-related Perl can do, PHP can do better. And faster.

Also, I've begun participating in the WhatPulse project. My profile. And I finally broke 1000 units on SETI@home.

New Stuff
First, the Googlesnacker. It's a piece of code in every page that detects when someone comes to my site via Google and records what they searched for that led them here. This is the list of Googlesnacks, and this is the source of the Googlesnack generator. It's actually my modification of some code from PHP.net, and I'm not quite sure how it all works, but it does the job. And I got the idea from DriveMeInsane.com, which uses C to parse the server logs for Googlesnacks, but I think my way works well too. Thanks to cythrawll and TzarIvan for helping me develop it.

Second, some searches that led to my site, pre-Googlesnacker:
Checkmark
checkmarks images
checkmark gif
green checkmark image
checkmark image
saturday night live Walken wavs
we drink ritalin flash
Bush stupid quote China
jpg checkmark
flower power images gif jpg images
Roberta Rebb
checkmark bmp
we eat ritalin
What enemies do the Russian Albino hamsters have?
gif of a checkmark
link creator
html checkmark
prevent whois channel listing
www.imageshack.us
we drink ritalin
"we drink ritalin"
eckbox van eck screenshot
where to download original gi joe public service announcements
ritalin.swf
white checkmark
we drink ritalin how to make it
irc cheat sheet
Bill Brasky screenshot
how to register nicks on irc
we're doomed
we drink ritalin lyrics
"soylent green" swg

I just had to rewrite this update. For some reason, index.php got completely erased when the upload failed. Luckily, Google's cache had a very recent copy.

The Pentagon Visits My Site
At 15:52:58 UTC on 15 March 2004, 198.26.132.99 visited this page, index.php, using Internet Explorer 5.5 and Windows 2000. I know this because I was testing a script to log information to files. Don't worry, it's all deleted now, and I am not evil. Anyway, I was testing out Spade with a few IPs the script returned, and look what pops up on the ARIN whois:

OrgName:    The Defense Information Systems Agency 
OrgID:      DISA
Address:    DISA/DSSO/JCLCC
Address:    Room BF655A, The Pentagon
City:       Washington
StateProv:  DC
PostalCode: 20301
Country:    US

NetRange:   198.25.0.0 - 198.26.255.255 
CIDR:       198.25.0.0/16, 198.26.0.0/16 
NetName:    NETBLK-DISA-C
NetHandle:  NET-198-25-0-0-1
Parent:     NET-198-0-0-0-0
NetType:    Direct Allocation
NameServer: AAA-KELLY.NIPR.MIL
NameServer: AAA-VAIHINGEN.NIPR.MIL
NameServer: AAA-WHEELER.NIPR.MIL
NameServer: AAA-VIENNA.NIPR.MIL
Comment:    
RegDate:    1992-12-05
Updated:    2004-01-13

This is the Defense Information Systems Agency's site. I tried searching for info on the DSSO and JCLCC, but all I could find was three pages describing experiences similar to mine: Whoppo, hyalineskies, and where's the beef?. Like Whoppo, I also had a disproportionate number of hits from Brazil. But what he experienced was an actual attack coming from nipr.mil. I searched for "nipr.mil", and found that quite a few others had been visited by it. According to Bhopal.net, "Nipr.mil is not a single domain a but a hush-hush web proxy that acts as a gateway for hundreds of U.S. military domains in order to hide their identities." Okay, so clearly someone from the military accessed my site. Also, about an hour and a half before DISA was here, 169.253.4.21 visited index.php twice, which is once again interesting because of the ARIN whois:

OrgName:    U.S. Department of State 
OrgID:      UDS-6
Address:    2201 C Street Northwest
Address:    Washington, 20520
City:       
StateProv:  
PostalCode: 
Country:    US

NetRange:   169.252.0.0 - 169.253.255.255 
CIDR:       169.252.0.0/15 
NetName:    DOS-US
NetHandle:  NET-169-252-0-0-1
Parent:     NET-169-0-0-0-0
NetType:    Direct Assignment
NameServer: DNSAUTH1.SYS.GTEI.NET
NameServer: DNSAUTH2.SYS.GTEI.NET
NameServer: DNSAUTH3.SYS.GTEI.NET
Comment:    
RegDate:    1996-07-09
Updated:    2000-01-13

TechHandle: SK324-ARIN
TechName:   Kenner, Sheila 
TechPhone:  +1-202-647-4884
TechEmail:  KennerSD@state.gov

So the military and the Department of State have been on my site. I'm not sure what they want, maybe they were just browsing around, maybe not, who knows. But it just seems odd to know the government and the military visit your site.

Software & Such
First, WinBar. It's a small toolbar that attaches to the top of the standard toolbar and displays various statistics and controls. It displays your Windows version, username/hostname/IP address, uptime, CPU usage, memory usage, disk usage, Lock keys status, battery, resolution, online state, a download/upload meter, a Winamp controller, a volume controller, an e-mail checker, a time synchronizer, a clock, a Google field, a news tracker, and a quick launch area. It doesn't take up much room, after a few minutes you won't even notice it. It's free, of course. I recommend it. Screenshot

Second, Sam Spade. It's a very thorough network query tool, but what it's really good for is tracing spammers. Freeware.

Third, PuTTY telnet/ssh client. I'm listing this because I got a shell account today. Basically, I can use parts of a 64-bit Gentoo server over a 128-bit encrypted connection. It's really quite cool. Freeware (the client, not necessarily the account). I recommend it.

Also, I've added a simple hit counter to every page on the site. Current hits: 222. This is the number of hits I've gotten since I added the counter, I know I've gotten at least 5000 before, but I'd just like to keep this one accurate. It doesn't really matter to me anyway, but some people like to know how many hits a page has. The current number of hits can be accessed at http://emptv.com/hits.txt. All it contains is the number. When I care enough to generate more statistics, there will be more statistics, but don't hold your breath.

Links:
How to trace spammers
Very informative and useful.

Singularitarian Principles 1.0
A simple introduction to the concepts of the Singularitarians. Pretty interesting reading.

KurzweilAI
"Ray Kurzweil's vast megacomplex of Singularity-related material."